Current mood:

exanimate

I have been working now I guess for over a month and half I think. Seems like all I do is work now, I think I am getting frazzled. I have been down the last couple of days and I think it is because I am very homesick. Last Sunday driving to work I started crying and thinking why the hell am I striving so hard to obtain so little. I don't have any friends here that I can truly hang out with and all I am doing is traveling back and forth to a job that honestly sucks ass. This much stress is not worth $7 an hour. And honestly it's not even dealing with people on the phone I can do that all day and thats ok, it's the fact that everything is timed down to a tee. Your breaks and lunches are timed from the time you hit the button on the computer and the phone and then I coordinate a stop watch so that I can get back on time. Then you have to make sure that if your on the phone for over 20 mins that you call them back. I don't know I guess I am just bitching and should be happy to even have a job. So I worked last Sunday and I called off Monday because honestly I just need another day that I could call my own. I was looking forward to a two day weekend and then they came around and asked if I wanted to work on Sunday. They are very sneaky when they do this because they ask you when you are on the phone and trying to deal with a customer. It's like your in the middle of something and just go yeah yeah sure sure. Then I get off the phone and say what did I just agree to hehe. Oh well I guess I am working this Sunday again. It will help though with the money situation.

My brother-in-law though has a friend who is selling a car for $1000 and I told him I was interested. So they are giving me a month to get the money together. It's a stick shift but I think I can learn how to drive a stick this late in my life :-P hehe My mom left for Michigan last Friday I think it was. She will be gone for about 3 weeks. Maybe that's another reason why I have been down, I come home and no one is here. I guess I didn't realize how much I need human contact in my life even if it is my mother hehe. I have been thinking about who is going to be there in the end when everything is said and done. I sent an email to R voicing some of my feelings and he wrote this in reply "Enough of this foolishness, we are who and what we are, things come upon us with a roughness, we see these and conquor these. They are nothing but specters of the mind. Give them no thought." These and a few other words made me feel a lot better.

Speaking of R things between us are good. I still miss him lots and he is doing very well. He is going to school at Wayne State. I am soooooo very excited and happy for him. He is on his way to obtain his Bachelors Degree and then he will be a successful therapist and give me lots of free service LOL He sent me a care package with lots of goodies. He sent the Erasure Other Tour Concert Mix (woohoo), 3 cd's full of MP3's (his music kicks royal ass), and some porn (well of course I requested this stuff hehe esp. the House of Morecock - Joe Phillips what can I say mmm). Also sent some extra programs and stuff which was tres cool. I am still trying to work my way through all the goodies he sent, and it makes things more bareable to have a link back to friends and home :)

Things are buzzing with all the stuff I have to work through. As some of you may or may not know I have my own icon journal which keeps things hectic fullfilling all the request that come through. I have stopped posting icons temporarily in the icon communities because I am just trying to keep up with the request that the journal generates. I aslo have to catch up with post in all 14 of my communities :) And I just got Adobe GoLive 5 for creating the website for Flamedames. So yeah busy busy. Well I will try to catch up with everyone here for the next couple of days when I get home from work and all the other stuff can kinda wait for the weekend what I have left of it :). Huggs to everyone