| alone in the astronomy tower. |
[29 Aug 2003|10:46pm] |
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Not much has changed these past few days. It's all so tiresome. I wish things were different. Everything is just eating away at me. I'm much calmer than before, but the overwhelming sense of dread still hovers over me.
All I've heard today is talk of going to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Mindless chatter. I'm actually not really all too excited about it. I mean, I suppose it'll be nice to get away from Hogwarts. I could use a change of scenery. But all in all.. I truly feel like going. I don't feel like doing much of anything, actually.
I will be going, however. I made a promise and I intend on keeping it. I just hope she's not mad at me...
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[28 Aug 2003|10:49pm] |
I suppose all is fine and well for the time being?
That's probably a lie. I attend class, I do my work, I keep to myself.
Except.. the other day I happened to run into that Lavender Brown girl. Aside from that and a few other little run-ins, I've mostly tried to seclude myself.
I've got more to say.. but not right now.
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| classes? |
[26 Aug 2003|04:07pm] |
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Five times the homework from Snape due to my absence from his lessons last week. The man must think I've got nothing better to do with my time. I spent all afternoon and all night on it. Luckily I haven't got any other classes but Potions on Mondays. Rather convenient.
Obviously I've not missed anything important in Charms. Who the hell needs to know how to ice a cake anyway? Oh... by the way.. Hufflepuffs deserve to become extinct.
I shall move on to D.A.D.A. I've come to the final descision that it is a very important class and I am quite glad my Mother forced me to take it, however.. Who the hell is this new Professor? I'm sure he's got to be ten times better than Lupin, but I culd have sworn he was a student when I walked in. And the girls.. I've never seen them act so incredibly inane before. What's more is that this guy is oddly familiar. I haven't got a clue why though. Add that with the fact that I saw Blaise having a nice little chat with him and well.. I do not think I like him very much.
I'm aware that I haven't been very receptive to anyone lately and haven't even seen or talked to Blaise since my return but even so.
Things still aren't much better than they were. But thats not really related to anything I'm talking about in here.
I've got loads of work to catch up on still.. well, that also depends on whether or not I decide to continue attending classes or not.. It's all so.. mundane.
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| Weekends are a pain in the ass |
[23 Aug 2003|01:37pm] |
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I hate weekends.
Yes, it is a newfound hatred. At least I'm able to be alone during the weekdays. I've missed classes on Monday and Tuesday. I think the only day I actually attended was Wednesday. You can't really count my appearance in Charms on Thursday because I even left that one early. I honestly despise this place, though I suppose it's better than being at home the Manor.
All week I've found solace inbeing on my own. I don't think I could handle myself if I were forced into a group of people. Not once have I been to the Great Hall for meals, but it's not like I've been very hungry to begin with.
I made it out to the lake last night. Just to sit and think on things. It didn't help much.
I really do hate everything that this weekend is bringing. I'm here in my corner of the dorm, my bedsheets still enchanted to block everyone out and still the annoying sounds of people entering the room and goofing off penetrate my mind. Isn't there anywhere I can go to just be by myself?
In other news, Aquillo still has not graced me with his presence. Ruddy bird. If I were not so repulsed by the school owlery, I might have ventured up there to find a replacement. As it is, I can't stand that place, much less the incompetant owls within. So, until his return it isn't very likely I'll be able tos send any owls. Unless I get desperate, I suppose.
I absolutely hate this place and everything associated with it.
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| HELL. |
[21 Aug 2003|03:58pm] |
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FUCK IT. Fuck it all. I feel so god damn useless. I'm stuck in this god foresaken school while very important things are happening back at the Manor. If I'm so god damn important to any plans He has, then why the hell am I here?
I skived off classes again today.. actually I only went to Charms. It's not like anyone will miss me much. With the looks I've been getting lately, I'd be surprised if the didn't throw a party in my absence.
That fucking bird of mine still hasn't returned to me either. I have things to send. Doesn't he bloody well realize that he is causing my letters to be late? I'm going to have to use a ruddy school owl if he doesn't return soon.
*%#*%)^%$(^$@#
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[21 Aug 2003|01:24am] |
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Aquillo still has not returned to me. I would think that by now he'd be back on his perch by my bed. Stupid bird.
I've managed to catch up on all the work I've missed, it was actually quite simple. I don't know why I would have had any difficulty with it. I'm not stupid after all.
Classes today were downright dull, though it seems more than one person has a staring problem. I can't begin to tell you how many peculiar looks I recieved today. I am aware that I am rather irresistable, but the narrow eyed glances I recieved [some from my own house] were a bit unnerving.
I don't think I will be spending much time away from my room in the following days, well.. aside from the times I am required to be. I still have a lot of things to sort out.
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| changes |
[19 Aug 2003|02:06pm] |
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Aquillo did not return last night. His responses are usually swift. No matter. I'm certain my message was delivered.
My stay at the Manor was less than pleasant. It's good to be back at school. Father had much to say though I shall not disclose any of that information here... or anywhere else for that matter.
I've missed Potions due to my absence yesterday. I do not plan on attending any classes today either. Hopefully I will not be missing anything too important, though I have full faith in my abilities to catch up rather quickly.
There is already so much to be done without adding essays and theories to the pile.
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| A Dreaded Return |
[17 Aug 2003|02:04pm] |
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I'm back home at the Manor. I return with a great sense of dread at what I may be stepping into.
My Father was in meetings all last night so I've not yet seen him. Mother on the other hand was there to greet me as I entered the Manor. It's nice to see her again, though being in her company does not ease my mind any more.
The pit in my stomach grows with each passing moment. Since my arrival, [which was kept rather secret due to those leeches from the Prophet who have taken to swarming around the Manor], I've not felt much like myself.
Mother had a small feast prepared for the two of us yet I couldn't even force myself to eat it. I suppose she thinks the trip back to the Manor took a lot out of me, especially since I had to use one of the secret entrances. I suppose that's better than letting her know the truth. It works out well enough, at least I have an excuse to have locked myself within my cham-
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| Missing: |
[15 Aug 2003|07:48pm] |
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I am back to being myself. Or at least I'd like to think so.. I look a hell of a lot better than I did earlier in the week.. THAT'S for sure.
I haven't seen Blaise in what seems like eons. It's odd how we can go for days on end without seeing each other. I hope she's not too worried about me. As I've said, I truly did look dreadful in the beginning of the week.
Speaking of not seeing people.. there is a very long list of people I haven't seen.
Blaise is obviously first on the list. We then move on to:
Pansy. Has anyone seen her? After the whole ordeal with her and Blaise I didn't see much of her and now it seems that she's disappeared. Perhaps it's just a bizarre occurance that we've just never crossed each others path in the past weeks.. though she is a Slytherin wich would lead one to believe that I might see her on occasion in the common room at least?
Goyle. Generally he travels with Crabbe but for the past three days Crabbe has been Goyle-less. I'm only mildly concerned as I'm certain that as soon as the oaf gets hungry enough he'll be found in the Great hall scoffing massive quantities of chicken and biscuits.
Weasley.. not that I care very much, but I haven't seen his appalingly red coif for a while.. well, not that I've been looking either but.. it makes one wonder if he's up to something. Which brings me to our next subject..
Potter.. has anyone seen Potter? Normally I've had a good day when I've not had a Potter-sighting, but considering the past events.. what with baby Weasley and that unfortunate boil thing.. I fear he might be plotting againts me with his little sidekick. Of course I could handle them, but that knowledge doesn't make me any less curious.
Who else haven't I seen.. No, I believe that's it. Unfortunately I've actually seen some people I'd rather not have but one can hardly help that.
I wonder what they're serving up for dinner tonight.. Better be something decent. If you believe youself to be someone worth talking to you can find me in the Great Hall in my usual seat. If you have red hair and freckles, please refrain from taking up any of the air in the Great Hall while I am there.. Potter- you just better not be up to anything.
Blaise- perhaps we should have a picnic tomorrow?
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| Revitalized |
[13 Aug 2003|07:49pm] |
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I've not been myself lately.
Well.. I suppose that was rather obvious.I've been dreading this for a while, though I guess it didn't really hit me until it happened.
I had a chat I sorted some things out.. well, somewhat. I got a lot off my chest recently. Some things still linger in my mind.. some important clips and phrases. It's weird really. I.. I don't have much more to say on it, except what has already been said. That and I really need to stay away from the Lake. It'll do weird things to you.
I really am a mess.
I've only recently cared to look at my own reflection and it really is no wonder why I've seen people head the other way as I come down the hall -- and I mean aside from the pathetic morons who should avoid me at all costs.
I have no color to my face at all which is by no means a good thing. I rather enjoy my strikingly pale complexion, but this is taking things a bit far. I look sort of hollow actually. I- I honestly look terrible, which is a first, I assure you.
I think I will head down to the showers..
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| Dismal. |
[11 Aug 2003|04:53pm] |
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I don't plan on sitting here, talking about yesterday. I have the journal Mother gave me for that. Some things are just better kept to oneself. I recieved a note just moments ago... I suppose I really do look terrible. It can't be helped. Completely inconvenient that Potions is next.. I've been contemplating skiving it off. I don't think Snape would be too pleased. It seems I have no choice but to go.
Things are not getting better.
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| A darkness returns. |
[10 Aug 2003|02:34pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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silence |
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I sent a few owls out late last night. I had finally gotten around to writing them. Three in all. I sent Aquillo out first with the most important one. Normally I would have waited for him to get back,but these just couldn't wait. I'm anxious to get a response.
I had to walk all the way to the owlery to send the others. Completely inconvenient that it's so far from the dungeons. I met Sarah on the way. She has got to be one of the most upbeat Slytherins I've ever met. I suppose it was lucky we met up. I borrowed her owl. Very lovely bird. She appeared to be a snowy owl, though she had a bit more of a grey colour than most. She took the letter for my Father.
Aside from my little encounter with Sarah, my weekend has been absolutely horrible thus far. Detentions with that Pomfrey woman are enought o kill a body. This naturally had put me in a bad mood, and then the other night I ended up snapping at both Blaise and Sarah, which I still feel incredibly awful about. So much has gone on as of late.. it's almost too much to comprehend.
Despite all of the bad that has happened over the past few days, some good has graced me as well. I recieved an owl from my Father, which is why I sent one back to him. It seems my Mother is not doing too well, though she is much better than she was without him. The Manor is being bombarded with reporters. I'm glad I'm not there. I don't need that shit to worry about.
I had also recieved an owl from.. from a friend. Supposedly I will be recieving a package sometime soon. While I'm interested in what it could be, it does not seem like enough to pull me out of the mood I've been in lately.
Father is back at the Manor and things are getting hectic again. While I respect the man, I can't help but feel a darkness settle over me now that he has returned home.
I feel like there is a great burden upon my shoulders. In a certain respect, I know too much about things..and then again I really know nothing.
There really is too much to deal with in my world. Sometimes I wish it would all go away.
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| bad day |
[09 Aug 2003|01:46am] |
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That woman.. she.. she must think I'm some sort of slave. The things she's had me do tonight.. I.. I'm even too tired to think about them.
I am certainly going to bed.
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| To think, they've made me stoop so low.. |
[07 Aug 2003|01:15am] |
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mood |
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diseased, no doubt |
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What is it called when a Malfoy must serve and wait upon bed ridden twits?
A disgrace. THAT'S what.
My day started off well enough. That is, until I remembered that I was to be a common healer later in the day.
I've gone and sent out my owls. To my Mother. To my Father... I've yet to discuss this horrid punnishment with professor Snape as of yet, but I'm sure he will see that I can not possibly be to blame for the unprokoved attacks of a mentally unstable Gryffindor.
As I had mentioned to Blaise, I have some rather good news. Though it seems to have a black shroud over it considering the torture that woman in the hospital wing put me through.
Do you believe that she actually had me tending to those sickies. Giving them water, fluffing pillows. Asking "How are you feeling?" when I certainly couldn't care less. One of them actually tried to have a conversation with me. First year Hufflepuff, of course, I could tell right off the bat. Apparently, whatever they're "learning" about in that half-giant's class got the better of him. They really should look into sacking that thing. I mean really.. he's not even good enough to be a full blooded giant. He has to be a half-blood. Halfies really piss me off.
That woman also expected me give her my wand..I gave it to her alright.. well.. what she thought was my wand. Luckily we had been standing very close to one of the diseased students bed. The bedside table is where the git decided she'd rest her wand. I gave her that instead of mine. Funny thing is... she gave it back to me at the end of my death sentence. So now I have two wands. Heh.
I was tempted to hex the girls water with her own wand, but it wasn't really worth it, seeing as how I didn't even know the girl and she was a sleep anyway.
I'm back now. I had to rush to the bath to rinse the filth that had surely collecting on my body during my time spent there.
I haven't really felt a need to clothe myself fully. It's a nice enough that I can go without my shirt. Pants are rather nessicary as it's quite inappropriate to walk around completely naked, even if you ARE alone in the dorm.
Ah, speaking of being alone in the dorm.. the reason for that is because I kicked everyone out of their beds again. They can go sleep in the fireplace for all I care. They're not getting back in here the rest of the night. I've hexed the door. Only one person is able to enter and exit, besides me. Heh. You should know who you are.
It's been a nasty night and I should think I deserve my privacy.
I think I shall write a few more owls. I have a few... relatives I need to contact.
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| OUTRAGE! |
[06 Aug 2003|03:36pm] |
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Great. JUST GREAT. Points taken from Slytherin for protecting myself from an insane Gryffindor. Totally unwarranted. Obviously I am not pleased.
Wait.. let me start from the beginning...
Yesterday I was to have a meeting with Professor Dumbledore. This didn't bother me all too much. I opted to skip DADA for the occasion. Heh. Anything to get out of a room with a rotten werewolf and a bunch of sneering lunatics in Gryffindor colors. I reach the entrance to Dumbledores office and realize that I have no clue what the password is. This might have been brought to someones attention a bit earlier as I was quite cross. After standing there for about a century a letter appears out of nowhere.
Obviously it's for me. Lovely way for a Headmaster to run things.. telling students off with letters. Honestly. They should have sent me to Durmstrang. Professor "Great and Powerful" Dumbledore has decided that he'd schedule a little business trip at the same exact time he scheduled his meeting with me. How inconsiderate. Especially since I was missing class just to see him. I bet if I were Potter, he would have been there. I swear there is favoritism going on here.
My punnishment.. I don't know which is worse.. his original intent or the actual punnishment due to circumstances. Serving a detention with "Potter-lover Dumbledore" could have its advantages, even though it is a detention. Nevermind my previous indescision. The detentions that I must serve in his absence are far worse. I have been sentenced to "helping Madam Pomfrey keep order of the hospital wing".
THE HOSPITAL WING! Sick people go there! I could catch a disease spending so much time there. To think, I, Draco Malfoy, will be forced to become an ordinary assistant healer for the week. How degrading. Heling diseased students in the hospital wing is no place for a Malfoy. Professor Snape will hear of this unfairness! My Mother will hear of this. My Father will hear of this. I will not stand for such a thing.
How completely dispicable.
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[04 Aug 2003|01:05pm] |
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It seems that the house elves are not doing their jobs properly. I left the common room this morning, only to find that the entire length of the dungeons had been littered with tiny bits of paper. I wonder who could have done that.. and why? I swear one of the scraps had grangers name on it. Heh.
I'm certainly curious to find out what it was she did to have her things destroyed like that. Not that i really care, but it might be nice to know so I don't make the same foolish mistake.
Ahhhhhh. It's back to classes today. Dreadfully boring. Shame it's too soon to start skipping the lesser classes.
Such a nice day outside too... I'd much rather be playing quidditch.
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| "Borrowed." Not Stolen. |
[03 Aug 2003|01:17am] |
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You know..I hadn't mentioned it earlier, though I probably should have. This morning was downright peculiar. I had worn these lovely silk pajamas to bed and when I woke up I seemed to be missing them. I thought someone had been stupid enough to go and steal the clothes off my back but Blaise seemed to have the same problem. So I figgured it might be an epidemic.. Blaise decided we were the victim of an anti-theft charm or something. I didn't steal them. I just... borrowed them.
It's very odd to go to sleep wearing something then wake up to find you've only got the sheets around you.
But enough with that. I met up with Blaise this afternoon on my way out to the quidditch pitch. We discussed the mysterious disappearing pajamas and then moved on to better topics. Quidditch. Heh. I haven't had much time to practice this week but I made up for it today. Got in a double practice session with a quick break in between to sit with Blaise, who had decided to come and watch me.
I must say today I was right on it. The team is better than ever and our new strategies are garunteed to kick some ass. [And I shall leave that one up for interpretation.] Gryffindor really hasn't got a chance.
I worked up quite a sweat out there.. Quidditch, as you might already know, is practically the only thing I will work up a sweat for as anything else really isn't worth it, and sweating is just plain inconvenient. It makes you smell and it gets you all wet so there really is no point to it. I immediately headed for the bath after dropping my belongings off in the common room. It's hardly fitting for me to wander about after practice smelling like a shoe. I can not believe some people choose to skip the shower after such a work out.
Ahh well... here I sit on the window sill of a second floor hall writing by moonlight. I smell of soap and shine like a star. If only someone were here to take a picture as this would probably be a rather sexy shot of myself. Bathed in moonlight, looking pensive as I scribble down my thoughts.. Rather poetic, I think.
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| Hmm. |
[02 Aug 2003|03:17pm] |
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Well, if things hadn't been interesting enough in the beginning of the week, they certainly are now.
Considering recent events, everyone has been rather quite as of late. Quite peculiar if you ask me. It's a rather unnerving.
Blaise and I had a pleasant little conversation with Professor Snape last night. We have been excused from the silly little meeting Dumbledore had requested our prescence at. Thank Merlin for small favours.
At this point I really haven't got much else to say..
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| Bloody Hell. Horrible week. |
[31 Jul 2003|11:46pm] |
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I am thoroughly pissed off.
NOT ONLY has Peeves driven Blaise to the edge of her sanity, but he has also gone and attacked ME. That rotton, good for nothing, twisted, pieces of grit has really done it.
I find myself wandering down the hall just the other day when I happen to cross Peeves. He was YELLING at the walls. Now even for a ghost, thats quite odd.. well.. for Peeves maybe it's less odd but still.
Before I had a chance to think he had sent an airplane at me. This would have been fine had the airplane been NORMAL. Instead of just falling to the ground the thing followed me and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't give it the slip. As if this wasn't bad enough, the blasted thing started to shoot missiles at me! FILTHY STINKING MISSILES! I couldn't escape! I ran as fast as I could and ended up bowling over Granger. I smelled like a damn greenhouse.. no WORSE than a greenhouse, if that's even possible.
Well I had run far enough from the nasty little plane that it took a while to find me again but in the meantime my little run in with Granger was well.. I'd rather not talk about it. We had our words and er.. the plane. That's what this entry is about, forget Granger.
The plane came and started shooting at me again.. somehow Granger managed to get hit instead of me so I was spared for the moment.
Well, one way or another we managed to vanquish the nasty plane of death and I ended up smelling like lilacs. God Damn lilacs. I ended up leaving that awful smell wherever I went.
Then on the way to the shower I had the misfortune of bumping into Potter. He really irks me.
I finally managed to rid myself of that awful stench and what do you think happens when I get to Potions?
PEEVES AGAIN! After he started terrorizing the class Blaise made the mistake of making an appearance in class. She's already had enough of Peeves and I guess this just drove her over the edge. I ran after her but as soon as I hit the halls she had mysteriously disappeared.
I just got an owl from her actually. Shes back in the hospital wing and I honestlky think if I don't get her out of there she'll go insane.. quite literally. I'd rather not have that happen. I plan on retrieving her right now in fact.
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| A stuffy old library is no place for a prince. |
[28 Jul 2003|02:55am] |
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The library is perfectly evil. I don't think I shall spend too much of my furture time there. It's swarming with unpleasant and less than worthy faces.
Oh a lighter note I've managed to get all my work done. I pulled a marathon catch-up session all day today. [Hence all the time spent in the library].
I do believe that from now on all my study related business will be carried out in the common room or at my desk. Rotton library.
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