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pomegranatejuic ([info]pomegranatejuic) wrote,
@ 2004-12-11 21:07:00

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We're back...
Mr. Doodles and I are back. Unfortunately, he and Lady Lady have had to break up. Tear. Here's the poem devoted to this relationship:

Renegade. Rendezvous.
Rickety dreams.
Torn spouts.

Silver cigarettes.
Litter's spin.
Gentle robin.

Tin pug.
Lotion show.
Nipple glean.

These are the memories
from me to you.
These are the letters
of our solid glue.

Where does the divide begin?
When can it end?

Will there be a start?
To delete our break?

My soul is sinking
and you are above.

To watch. To wait.
To sleep. To hate.

Glowing sorrow.
Running steam.

Renegade. Rendezvous.

-Lane Crandep (Check out her new book! It full of gems like these!)


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slivverrs of me
(Anonymous)
2004-12-12 10:24 (link)
marvelous, marvelous, marvelous. the search for good poetry can sometimes seem like delving into an deep abyss of sh*t. (Don't want to offend any of the kiddies.) I'm so sick of burning out my eyeballs on the type of poetry i'm used to reading. I need the passion like this...I need the abstract! This is what I'm working on right now:

slivvery, shiny slip into my love pool. (are you here yet are you here yet?)
breathe the slime
sip the juice
slurp the whispers
(are you here yet...'cause I've already arrived)
slivvers of me
you have them in your pocket.

What do you think? I don't want to sound to pleibian...I'm not sure it exudes what I"m thinking about the way I want to....

Miss. Capezio

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Re: slivverrs of me
[info]pomegranatejuic
2004-12-12 10:31 (link)
Miss Capezio,
I truly understand your need for a true emotional connection. It all goes back to Marxism and commodity fetishism. you need to let go of your commodified life and embrace real feelings.

I do not, however, think that you have yet reached that state. To do so, you must truly truly let go. Burn your shoes and release your lamps into the great outdoors. This MUST be done before 'slivvers of me' can be a masterpiece. The title lends itself to an Ashley Simpson song. Ashley Simpson is a commodity. Let go of her. Change you title to Pocket Slivvers.

I must say that I do love the use of the 's' and the parentheses. I really admire the parenthesis. It is aesthtically pleasing.

Keep up the STRIKING work. And release yourself from commodities. (don't forget to burn you shoes)

love, pj

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