| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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deftones - change (in the house of flies) |
] |
: Boxes upon boxes were stacked up over each other. The same dormroom was issued to him that he had before leaving the school in hopes of finding ![[info]](http://www.caleida.com/img/userinfo.gif) kaley_ianson. Most of the reason he had left was to find her after she left him without a phone call or a letter whatsoever. Finally having found her at a complete new High School, it had struck him that she had began to live a whole new life back at home. Old friends, old school, new friends, new everything; almost seemed as if she hadn't been the girl he had fallen in love with when he had come to Dover Academy.
Though, the same could be said for himself. He hadn't completely changed into someone who he wasn't, but there was some noticeable different within his personality and the way he had acted. Whether he knew the reason of the changes, they were there and there wasn't anything he could do to change them. The boy had started drinking more than he did before and didn't really care as to what people had to say about it. Blowing them off, he would reply simply with it being his life and for people not to care for him. How ignorant the boy was, completely oblivious to the fact that they were trying to help him but his stubborness was leading him to a path of self-destruction and it was going to catch up with him later on down the road.
A tear drop had fallen down his cheek by the time he had finally taken a break from unpacking; sitting down in front of his computer. Trying to keep his mind off of her and the letter she had written him, he turned off the computer. The piece of paper was crumbled up into a ball and was near the garbage can on the other side of the room. Swollen and red eyes were lowered to the piece of paper that was placed onto the desk. A blue pen resided next to it, fingertips slowly picking it up as he took off the top and held the tip of the pen close to the paper, unsure of how he should reply to the letter she had written him. :
Kaley -
I don't know why I'm here sitting replying to your letter. Your actions . . were uncalled for and were unnecessary. Feeling like shit after the first week you were gone - it led me to thinking that I had done something wrong within our relationship and that's why it made you leave. That's a feeling I never want to experience again and I hope that anyone else never has to go through it. You wrote about how much you loved me and you still do and how you thought of me. But you know what I think about? I think about how you spent those few nights complaining to me about your friend, Josh. The one that you were madly head over heels with and he never called you and told you where he had left? I felt like you in that position. You didn't return any of my phone calls, nor did you call me. Was a letter asking too much of you, Kaley?
That day . . I never want to think about it ever again. The day I saw you at your new High School while holding hands with another guy? To think you were happy with me, I guess that really was an understatement. I guess I wasn't the right guy for you, right? There must've been something on my part that made you go away. Something I did to make such a huge distance between the both of us. And if there is something that I did, do let me know.
To read you talking about all the good times we shared together . . The time we first met, the first kiss we shared . . It brings butterflies to my stomach. Because I honestly thought you were someone special in my life. I hadn't ever met someone like you, and I honestly do feel like I never will. But what's happened between the both of us is something I couldn't have imagined beyond my wildest dreams, the fact that you had "loved" me so much and then got up and went away without a trace, without a single phone call, without one last hug and kiss . .
I don't know where we stand as off now. But all I know is that I just need time away from you. I just, need to focus my mind on something other than you. Thoughts of you have been infesting my mind and it's bringing me down and I just can't explain it. You've changed me, Kaley. This whole . . mess has changed me and I need time to myself and away from you to bring myself back together to one piece. My state of mind and self being is in such a fucked up state, you would barely be able to recognize me. I mean, even you would think of me as a completely different person - and we both know how well you know me.
I still can't believe I wrote back to this. I didn't want to have anything to do with this letter, but I needed to pour out my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside of my body. I need you to let you know that I need to get over you and get on with my life.
Michael
Mike
: Folding up both pieces of paper, he enclosed the letter intn an envelope and slowly brought himself to his feet to deliver the letter. Walking into the kitchen to get something to drink, he opened a bottle of water and took a long sip out of it and then set the bottle back down. Stopping slightly, there was a knock heard against the door. Stepping towards it curiously, he placed his left hand onto the doorknob and then opened the door; his heart and body frame completely stopping as he stood there and stared at the person in front of him. Part of him wanted to tell her to go away and never come back again, though there was another part of him that wanted to wrap her within his arms and just tell her that everything would be alright and they could get over this. But he knew that things couldn't ever be the same - or at least not within such a quick period of time. Thinking of the next best thing, he looked down to the floor and opened the door a bit wider. :
" You want to talk? . . Sure, we can talk, but there's something you need to read . . Come inside. "
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