Red Is The New Black [entries|friends|calendar] It's All About Trust [ website | Click ] [ userinfo | userinfo ] [ calendar | calendar ]

religion [08 Dec 2003|10:51pm] Idk, but, man. Kids grow up with the same beliefs as their parents. They idolize them. I don't understand it. Why are kids all the same religion as their parents? Some of them never learn to think for themselves maybe? Or they just accept their parents beliefs as the right ones just because they're their parents and they couldnt be wrong? idk. I never did understand believing things, that were written in some big book of a bunch of exerpts of other books a long time ago. How do you know that some guy didnt just get bored and write this stuff? You can compare religion to Hitler's rise to power. He was all bullshit, yet people believed everything he said. So how can you not think the same about religion? I really don't know if I believe in anything. I've always believed what my parents told me. Now I find myself pretending to pray when I go to church on holidays. Yeah maybe hitler was a bad comparison but it works. Sometimes I wanna believe, just so I don't fear death. Just to not have to worry about what happens when you die. I don't believe what they say in science books either. All those theories, theories aren't proven 100% correct so what good are they? It's sort of an illustration of how this society jumps to conclusions, how it assumes things. I don't even care how we got here. That's really not important to anyone, now is it? Who cares what happened 5 bigillion years ago that made us what we are today. Point is we're here. Ahh well it's late though. I'll continute tommorrow. There's Nothing Worse

rah [02 Dec 2003|04:46pm] [ mood | blank ] Well it's been the longest time since I updated my caleida so here goes. I'll start with wednesday. Wednesday me and joe were supposedly gonna hang out but then michelles locker got jammed and he stayed after with her and I guess they hung out. SO idk i didn't do anything wednesday. Thursday was thanksgiving. It was pretty fun except for when I went to my mom's sides grandma's house. It was so boring and we were there for like 2 hours. oi. Friday I didn't do anything except had guitar lessons, bill wasn't there again so I had steve and learned some more chords. It was pretty good. He doesn't remember that I'm in band and know how to count lol. Saturday was fun, I went to joes at about 230, joe a came over at about 330, and anthony rode his bike over and got here at about 430-5. Ant called james and told him to pick us up once he got off work and until then we went up to 7-11 and bought lotion and condoms. Buying the condoms was funny. 4 guys, a bottle of lotion, and a pack of condoms...uh...kinda weirdgay? haha. Well we filled the condoms with lotion, we were gonna throw them at cars but ended up throwing them at each other before james got us. So james picked us up at like 8 and we just drove around for awhile. I called my mom from his car and asked if I could sleep over joes, and she kept asking all these questions and was like "why don't you come over and say goodnight?" "are joes parents home?" it was close. I couldn't get my lies straight. We went to K-Mart for awhile, drove around more, went to joe a's and got baseball bats, drove around more, more driving, went to 7-11, then it was finally pretty late, so ant and joe a played some mailbox baseball. Anthony stole like 10 real estate signs throughout the night too. It was a pretty good time. Sunday I got home at about 1130, watched football most of the day, and yeah that was all. Monday we had a bombscare, it was fun I guess. It's kind of depressing being surrounded by couples that are all like "brrr its freezing lets be all over each other". But meh. It's a lot better than being in class. Oi tonight I've got a lot of crap to do, a take home math test, some bio homework. But it's madden time. laaater. 2 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

Well Welll [16 Nov 2003|09:21pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | I Feel So -- Boxcar Racer ] Hm I like updating my caleida. So my weekend was alright. Friday I got medal of honor: rising sun. The game is cool, I like Frontline better I think. I'm so sick of school. I'm sick of the schoolyear. I wanna go back to summer but then again this summer sucked so I don't know what I want. I miss 7th and 8th grade. I miss not having to try and just automatically getting good grades. I miss throwing things over the locker in lunch with steve lohman in 7th grade. Man 7th grade was great. I miss nicole messing with my head and going out with me for 3 days in 8th grade. I miss thinking avery ward wanted to fight me just to feel cool. Ha I was pretty retarted in 8th grade but I couldnt have cared less. I even miss rachael and the rest of katies friends coming up to me at lunch everyday and asking me why I wouldn't go out with katie. I miss my lunch tables from 8th grade. I sat in so many different places, 3 tables the whole year. I sat with james, matt, buddy and mike at the beginning of the year but all those giggly tee-he girls annoyed the hell out of me. I remember when nikki calise talked to me online everyday and then she came back to school and wanted to meet me, and I remember me making her mad and she never really talked to me again haha. Man and what good are memories. Honestly? All they do is make me depressed. Even the good memories All I think about is how those times are gone and new times are here. And I hate my life right now. Nothing's been going my way lately I've tried not to complain but it's true. And I've got no self esteem All that fucking "you look like this, and you like that" really takes a tole on me. Yeah har har it was funny for like the first 5 minutes now shut the fuck up. agh. why cant i just look like, me. no. its fucking oh you look like harry potter you look like franklin you look like toby mcquire. it's like a contest, figure out what jameson looks like and win a prize. I hate it. I spend too much time reflecting on the past though I do I really do. Saturday I went to joes then amy and michelle came over at like 630. I was all over amy again and I know she really doesnt like it. Being like that doesnt make me feel any better about anything either, halloween and yesterday i just get home and shake my head and just think about what a moron I really am. I think I really am fed up with people this time around. I really think I'm only gonna talk to people that talk to me. I'm going through one of those phases where I don't wanna make any effort towards anything. My progress report is gonna be good this quarter. I'm doing good in almost everything. And I'm gonna make mom and dad have to not yell at me. eh updating got boring later 1 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

[15 Nov 2003|11:32am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Great Romances of the 20th Century -- Taking Back Sunday ] I'm bored. It's kind of early. I need breakfast. So yesterday was an alright day, it went better than I thought. I didn't have to do the leaves. Guitar lessons weren't as bad as I thought they'd be. I had them with Steve, the owner. He kept teaching me easier way to hold chords down and he showed me the whole chords to burnout rather than just the power chords. And he's like blah blah if you play the full chord with distortion on you'd get a much fuller sound. Yeah except my amps and guitar are all assholes and distortion just does not work. I need a new system i need a new system rah. Today I'm not sure if it's happening but me amy michelle and joe are suppossed to hang out. It'd be fun but idk. Man I have the new blink cd and except for like 2 songs It's horrible. I've really got it. People are all repetitve. Most alchoholics will sober up for along time like 10 years even Then one little thing will happen to them and bam. they're out getting drunk every other night. And that's not what made me realize it but. whatever. People are repetitive. And stupid. My lunch period is fun. It used to be kind of boring, I used to just sit there. But now I actually talk, and have fun. We sat on the floor friday cause our table was folded up. I decided we should leave the table messy on purpose one day and come in the next day with a blanket and a picnic basket with sandwiches. I forgot my locker combo. Everytime I want to open my locker I go to put in danielle's combo. Grr. And I forgot mine. I've been feeling really smart and good about myself lately. I've been getting all my homework in, and except for the english test I took the other day, I've been doing good in school too. And I've just felt like smarter as a person lately. I've really wanted to try and write some songs but everytime I go to write something it either sucks really bad or drifts off of the topic the songs suppossed to be about. I can never just focus on one thing to write about. I don't know if it's because I wanna write about so many things and don't have the patience or concentration to do one at a time, or if I'm just boring and dull and don't really have enough to write about to actually put one topic in one song. lol. Well idk. I think this update is done, idk if anyone reads this but if you do, a comment would be oh so nice. 2 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

Yeah I'm nothing more, than a line in your book [12 Nov 2003|10:23pm] [ music | Movement -- S.T.U.N. ] I decided to be the guy that erases the numbers in jeopardy review in english today and I had to stand in front of the class and do it. I don't really care but I can just feel eyes on me when I'm up there. I feel so stupid. I feel like no one in that class, or in fact, any of my classes likes me. Idk. And group activities and all that stuff just makes me feel like crap. Even if I'm not that sorry kid that ends up getting put into a group by the teacher. I feel lonely I thought I wanted to be single but it's not really anything like I thought it'd be, idk if I picked a bad time or I'm just focusing on how I feel too much but I hate thiiis. School has been so quiet lately too. I don't talk to a lot of people anymore. It starts taking a toll on you when you keep things inside, even if it's for the best. Grr. yeah well idk im sick of journals. im just gonna stop updating this one too. 1 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

grr [08 Nov 2003|09:33pm] [ mood | grr ] "today was a fun day. mommy and i had a lunch date cuz she wanted to know what's been up lately. i tried to explain to her that i have the same expectations for other people as i do for myself, if not higher. i meet these people like danielle and sarah and meg and babz and andrew and john and deirdre and krista and lisa h (there's lots of others) and it amazes me how much they care. they try so hard to make you feel like everything's gonna be ok. but then there are people like jamo and amy and brian and trevor who seem sooo emotionless sometimes. they only care when something happens to them but they don't really consider how what they do effects other people and that's all i ever think about!" it's like reverse psychology. I'm pretty sure she knows I read it. how can she say I didn't try hard to make her feel like everything's gonna be ok???? everytime something was wrong I'd ask her what was wrong over and over again. and she wouldnt tell me. So I fucking gave up on caring. what's the use if no one's gonna open up to you anyway??? There's Nothing Worse

[01 Nov 2003|09:08pm] Check it out it's Mrs. Merikle's trash can. 1 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

hm well [28 Oct 2003|04:43pm] [ mood | worried ] Today wasn't much of a good day. Tuesdays have been sucking lately. Minus the part where I eat pizza. Last night lisa and me got into to this weird thing that I wouldn't really even call a fight but it might as well had been. I was kidding around about her backing up whenever I get close to her and started saying stuff like its ok you dont have to touch me i know im really dirty its ok. And it had to be the most immature I've acted in awhile. Then I think she got mad and was like fine no hugs tommorrow nothing. And I didnt know if she was serious but I got really upset and Idk why. So I came back and was like freaking out it wasnt like me at all. I was like shaking. It was so messed up. And the way she said it, it was just so cold. And then she was like fine we'll hug every 2 fucking seconds. And it was bad and so immature on both our sides I think. Idk. Today it was pretty weird for like the beginning of the day. Now it's in my head that she really doesn't wanna touch me. I was afraid to give her hugs, I didn't even bother with trying to hold her hand today. Idk. It was really the first time I didn't feel comfortable. I felt like she was gonna break up with me and the whole day was just so bitter except til the end, and even then it was pretty bitter. I guess I'm just the kind of person that has to be reminded over and over again that people care about me. But I don't wanna be like that and I'm gonna try to not be like that. I don't wanna annoy her or anything. I look at michelle and joe and michelle seems to love him alot. Michelle hates public affection though and it seems like it annoys the hell out of her when joe is all over her. I dont wanna bother lisa like that, i dont know what shes like. It's not one of those things you ask either. She's not gonna say she hates when im like that with her in school or not. Idk. I think i'll try to talk to her anyway. It's hard to talk about and it's hard to put into words. But the point is last night scared the shit out of me. There's Nothing Worse

Oh Caleida, I missed you [24 Oct 2003|04:33pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | The Artist In The Ambulance -- Thrice ] I haven't updated the ol' caleida in awhile. I've got 3 journals and I might start updating my greatest journal(greatestjournal.com ... i think? aaaaanyway today wasnt a very fun day. I mean it wasnt bad for the most part but it was boring. In bio we had ms tong. She looks like a hamster it's so funny. We had an open book quiz, it was so annoying. All I wanted was a nap, and I had to do a fucking open book quiz. It was 33 questions long and took almost the whole 2 periods. Band was boring. Lunch was alright, it was kind of crowded. Italian sucked, we had a test, highest grade I could've gotten was a 50 because I didnt get any of the synonyms or antonyms. Monday I probably have to do speaking, I need to do good on that. Math was good, we took a test, I think I did pretty good on it. Atlesat the multiple choice and short answer parts. I didn't have trouble with alot of it. I was done halfway into the period. English we were in the computer lab so I did nothing. I still have to do my part of the newspaper project that's due wednesday this weekend. Social studies was really cool, mrs merikle wasnt here. And Mr Alcorn was the sub, my s.s. teacher from 8th grade. I miss my old social studies teacher, they were all so cool. I dont remember who I had in 7th grade, but in 6th grade mrs chapman was cool, 8th grade alcorn was cool and his class was really easy, last year Mrs. PB was the best ever, just because she let us sit around and barely do anything and gave us all A's and no homework. But this year..is different. Mrs Merikle hates me. lol i told ms streeker today. SHe was like how could she do such a thing???? And yeah. Then we ended up talking about girls and how they feel about underage sex idk how that happened. Underage, premaritial, same thing. Anyways Lisa wasn't in school today I was so sad. And I haven't talked to her since the end of school on thursday. I hope she isnt dead. I missed her today. I'm starting to get all wrapped up in her and yeah idk if its good or not. I can be one obsessive guy. And idk where to really draw the line between sweet and just weird. Idk idk idk. But she's so cool and i love her. And volleyball ends soon and and we're gonna spend alot of time together and it's gonna be great. =-P It'll probably be like forever before I update my caleida again. So til' then. Peace 1 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

For Lisa [11 Oct 2003|09:40pm] [ mood | Sleepy ] [ music | The Greatest Fall (Of All Time) -- Matchbook Romance ] So it's been awhile since I updated the old caleida. I've been updating the LJ and blurty and haven't had much to update after that. Today was really boring. I woke up at like 10, ate breakfast and ripped some of the Hellfest dvd that nick let me borrow since he probably lost my green day dvd. After that I played video games for like 3 hours. Then dad came home and had wendys. I tried the new chicken strip things and they taste just like the nuggets. Hmm then I watched the yankee game. There was mad crazy fights and stuff that went down in that game. Pedro Martinez grabbed Don Zimmer's head and threw him on the ground that was pretty hilarious. Pedro's a jeeeerkkk. Just watching the game you can tell he's a Grade A asswipe. Hmmm well the yankees won so they got the last laugh anyways. Me and lisa got into a fight friday night it wasnt too cool. I guess I was kind of out of line, she just scares me sometimes. I wanna be here for her and I want her to talk to me when she has a problem because idk I like helping people, especially ones I care about alot. But it wasn't really right for me to get mad if she didn't feel like talking about it. I just like to know what's going on with her and stuff. Idk. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong so I got mad and didn't really talk to her for the rest of the night, and she wasnt in school the next day. But I apologized and it's all good now. I've been really happy that we're going out lately and I hope things only get better. Sometimes I feel like I annoy her, and I never really know if she wants to be like bombarded with me telling her she's great and stuff or if that's just weird and annoying. I really hope we can hang out really soon. I really hope we become closer and that we don't drift and drift and then just die out. Because I love her and I don't think I've ever felt this good about a relationship. And it's kinda funny because before we got into our little fight on friday I didn't really realize it. Tommorrow I have work, my brother doesn't have a football game so my house will be at peace tommorrow lol. I figure I'm gonna come home, watch the giants win(I HOPE) and then watch more football then maybe type my english essay or something. Well this was a pretty good update. I don't have much else to update about or it'd be longer. Laater. 5 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

[05 Oct 2003|10:12pm] [ mood | blank ] So today sucked. I went to work which was fun, well, sort of. I realized that straylight run and something corporate is def. my depressed/contemplative music. I felt so depressed and idk why. I swear at work all the time that I've worked there all I can ever do is think about things that go wrong or went wrong. I officially love the fall. It's so cozy and I can't believe I just realized fall is awesome. Winter is still my favorite though. After work dad picked me up, drove me home, asked if I was coming to the game and I said, idk, I gotta take a shower, I havent taken one since thursday (=-x). So he's like I have to leave 5 minutes after I get in the house, don't make up excuses if you don't wanna go that's fine. YEAH RIGHT. Before the games started I said, I don't wanna go to any of his games, and he said that's horrible adn was like mad at me for the rest of the day. And I really did wanna go, I just didn't wanna smell like crap and I wanted to watch the giants game. The giants lost it was fucking horrible to watch, they have so much talent but they're a bad team. It's the play calling. Oh well. I didnt get to go to andrews, didnt see lisa, it was sad. I really wanted too. =-/. 17 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

[04 Oct 2003|02:55pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Please Take Me Home -- Blink 182 ] Yeah so today is so boring. I can't believe it's only 3, it feels like it's like 6. So my mom just called and told me Al was at the bar and he wanted me to come in on monday. So I'm working sunday and monday, so much for enjoying my 3 day weekend. Monday won't be that bad except the fact that I'll be tired and won't be able to sleep that late. It still kicks the shit out of going to school. And after tommorrow I will have worked 45 hours, 5 hours after that I start getting paid everytime I work there. Yeahhh woo. I'm trying to figure out how to hack. I found a site with tons of programs, movies, game cracks, and there's so much shit there and links to all this stuff and ahh woo. Once I hack I can def. turn peoples computers into mIRC bots muahaha. And they'll officially be helping me distribute copyrighted goods. haha. I'm a loser I know but if I figure out how to do it I'm gonna be so happy. lalala im so tired and bored. Anyway this update is done. 2 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

wow im all laughy again [01 Oct 2003|08:33pm] wow I'm in one of those laughy moods again. It's a shame, today I didnt do my hw early so I gotta do it now. =-/. Lisa had like 2 talks with me in one tonight. It's awesome that she actually confronts me about things lol. It'd be better if there wasnt anything to have talks about, but her confronting me is the next best thing lol. well i forgot what iwas gonna update about. stupid me. I gotta buy more memory for my computer. 010101000010101010001110101 that was for joe. bye. There's Nothing Worse

Progress is the alternative to which we align [30 Sep 2003|07:45pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | The Fake Sound Of Progress -- Lost Prophets ] Today was loads of fun for me. I have no clue. It just was. I slept through 4 periods thats my new record. I slept through the whole double period of bio, it makes the day much more enjoyable. I fell asleep in math with my face slammed against the desk. I got up and my nose left like a grease mark on my paper. It was def. gross but funny. I haven't cared about anything today and it's been so laid back its amazing. And fun. But now it's not fun cuz its late and I have to force myself to do homework. Tuesdays have turned into the depressing day of the week. I swear. The past three tuesdays have been nothing but crap. I go to school so tired, I'm sleepy all day, it sucks ass, then I come home and go to my grandmas. I miss going to my grandmas and going there reminds me of the summer. And I wasted my summer. It makes me mad. The only good week was like the first and last weeks of summer. All i did all summer was sit around and think about amy or occasionally hang out with joe. I took it for granted. And GRR I want it back. Well school sucks and it owns my life so im gonna go do another horrible homework assignment. ill update later. There's Nothing Worse

eh [28 Sep 2003|12:11am] [ mood | Oh Just Chipper ] [ music | Gone -- Bouncing Souls ] So today we had band practice. I thought it went alright, so did joe. I thought it was better than last weeks. Maybe just because I got drastically better at guitar since then or idk but yeah. Ledger thinks we're just a joke. And doesnt wanna do emo, we do one emo song and its like we've been doing emo all along. Emo is easier to write. It's real easy to write about getting your heart broken or feeling down then to write about, idk, other stuff. Me and joe are talking the other night, and he says hes cool with the idea of trying every type of music, but then he tells me speed punk is annoying, then I suggest doing a bouncing souls song, which isnt speed punk, but its fast and upbeat. ANd he says no no i dont like them. It doesn't really matter if you like them, we're covering a song not picking out a cd to listen to or something. Idk. And I figured bouncing souls would make brian happy for awhile but then joe wouldnt be happy. And james is just, well, hes james. So yeah after practice I felt good about band practice but now its just eh. Everythings eh. I have work tommorrow, I dont wanna go, I need a good nights sleep for once. Im so sick of everything. Im trapped in such a routine. I hate routines. I like things to be different sometimes. Even if something changes but its really still the same. Like say life was a hockey game, then I've been playing the same team since school started. And Hockey would be boring as fuck if you only played against one team. So hockey is still fun you just wanna play against different teams, or in other words, do different things every once in awhile. I think me and lisa are alright. She was suppossed to come to band practice but it never panned out. It was better that way it wouldve been weird. I swear though its like going out with another krista. Its like I'm just sitting there talking to her and random people walk up and hug her or put their arm around her or something. And I dont wanna be annoyed by it but I am and I cant really hide it. And its not liek theres anything I can do. What am I gonna fight someone cuz they hugged my girlfriend in front of me? no its dumb. I'm just fucking stupid thats all. Yeah I'm tired. This update was all stupid and sad but oh well. 2 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

I havent been treating my caleida fair [23 Sep 2003|10:14pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | Bad Case Of Broken Heart -- The Ataris ] Well I've been sleeping around with my journals. Livejournal and blurty have been getting alot more ass lately than you my dear caleida. I'm sorry. Well I'm gonna start off by saying school is hell. I don't think it could be any worse. I just spent an hour and a half trying to focus on my homework and I just couldn't. I only got half of it done. I'm falling into last years habbits, I blow off homework, get phone calls home, get bad progress reports. Once I get those I start to pick up my grades but it's all too little too late and I end up with C's and D's. B's at best. I hate school. And it's not the right attitude but I just can't see the good in it. The band is coming along nicely actually. This is one of the only times you'll probably hear me talk about the band. We have stickers, and we're gonna record a demo on saturday. It's probably only gonna be one song that isn't a cover, but oh well, if we have stickers, we need a demo. Joe and me are working our asses off to try and get 1 or 2 songs that have decent lyrics. He wrote a pretty neat song and I wrote a good joke song. So idk. Hopefully we can put this song together without too much trouble. And that's all. I miss lisa. I wanna hang out with lisa. I love lisa. But I suck at being with lisa. I watched playmakers tonight. That show is awesome. It kind of, puts life in prespective. Which is weird. But it does. 1 moment can change the rest of your life. Yeah. I'm tired, it's bedtime. 1 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

agh. [16 Sep 2003|07:03pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | Perfect -- Simple Plan ] eyy journal. Last night was so fucked. I'm laying on the couch watching football, my brother gets up, and asks me to move my foot, which was barely in his way and he couldve gone around, so i move my foot forcefully, it hits his knee, and his knee cracks, and he like freaks out. He's sitting there going AGHH. So my dad walks in with ice cream in his hand and he's like whats the matter and dusty doesnt say anything so he starts yelling WHAT HAPPENED? so I tell him I went to move my foot and it hit his knee and he freaks out and he's like YOU SURE YOU DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE then he like kicks my leg and throws his ice cream at me. Then he starts bitching about how me and my brother never get along and that I shouldn't hit him and I'm older than him and all that crap. Meanwhile the kids knee cracked, and god forbid I say that he'll just start throwing more ice cream at me or something. So then my mom just walks in cleans the ice cream, tells me and my brother its bed time then walks out. At this point im in like tears and mumbling all this random crap like dad sucks and hes got anger problems and hes bald. So then I just jump in bed and my dad gets so pissed that hes just like throwing crap around in his room and the house is like rumbling. Then he comes to my room and he's like TURN THE COMPUTER OFF WHEN I SAY DO SOMETHING YOU DO IT. Meanwhile he never told me to turn it off, and if he hadn't thrown his fucking ice cream at me then I probably wouldve turned it off. But it's ok, I find it hilarious that he can get so mad. See the thing is he hates his job. He feels that everyone at work doesnt know what they're doing and that he has to waste his time making sure they do everything right. He's a victim of the working system and is too shy I guess you would call it to actually say something. So he just keeps letting it happen and happen and then comes home and bitches to my mom and my grandma about it. I'll never grow up to be like him. And if I do seriously kick me in the balls. He ends up taking it out on other people. Is it really my fault that he has problems at work. And seriously where does complaining get him? It does not change a thing at the workplace. And, sorry dad, but I'm not going to grow up and just let things bother me like you do. Ahh asshole. Agh it's been bothering me since it happened fuck dad. Anyway yeah so I think I'm gonna try to be a better boyfriend. I really wanted just a laid back relationship that I didn't really have to worry about that much. I guess thats kind of unrealistic, especially with a relationship thats only like 2 weeks old. But idk we'll see. Today I taped my project at debras and it came out really awesome. Me and joe have decided to purchase a video camera. I have officially found a new way to pass my time doing stupid shit. HOORAY. Thats about it. Homework time. eeek dads gonna be home gonna nd its gonna be weird. 3 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

I gotta update more. [13 Sep 2003|06:40pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Rough Draft(Acoustic) -- Yellowcard ] So I haven't been updating more. And I'll probably update even less if and when mike gives me an LJ code. I don't really have much to say anyway...school fries out my brain and takes up most of my time. Basically all I've been doing lately is going to school, hanging out with joe, talking online, or ripping music vids. And I've played a little video games too. And listened to music. Thursday I went to taco bell with michelle and joe. It was alright, If I wasn't hungry I probably wouldn't have gone though. I mean idk I just don't feel right when it's just me joe and michelle. I'm guessing it might be the fact that joe is either hugging her or giving her a kiss or telling her he loves her like every 5 minutes. I guess I can't really expect or ask him not to be like that, so oh well. Friday I was suppossed to go to lisa's volleyball game but it got canceled or something. So instead me and joe went and got some taco bell again, yeahhh 2 days in a row woo. When we got there these kids, greg, richie, and tanya, and some chick I've never seen before were there, and greg walks up to joe and asks him if he can have his belt. hahah joe almost flipped him off apparently and man greg wouldve ripped him a new one if he did. Anyways after that we went to my house and I practiced guitar a little bit then we went to joes then I left for guitar lessons. Guitar lessons are going good and it seems like they're going fast because it was like a month and a half before my brother started learning anything out of the book they give you and I'm already learning Hotel California and next week I'm probably gonna learn Should I Stay Or Should I Go by the clash. Or something else simple idk. But they're going good, hopefully I have more time to practice this week. Tommorrow I'm suppossed to go to detbra's to do an english project, she just called from connecticut and we didn't really come up with times or anything. She doesn't exactly know when she'll be home either. Joe is coming and he has to leave at like 5. I don't know how me and him are getting there and leaving yet. If joe's parents can't give us rides, I'm screwed. My dad probably can't give me a ride eitherway. Which is not good at all. Hopefully this all follows through because if not my english grade probably won't be looking to nice. Well anyways yeah I'm gonna stop worrying about this because that won't do any good. We're doing a paraody of the real world. We already have a bunch of ideas and shouldnt be that hard to put together...even without any of us being able to edit the tape. I probably could take it home and edit it with adobe...but I'm not sure. And even after I edit it, idk how I'd get it back onto tape. Oh well. If you don't read my blurty comment and tell me some weird and random places to have sex because me and amy are coming up with a list of crazy places to do the nasty. haha who says do the nasty? Check out my icon. And this priest from telecare. 7 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

[08 Sep 2003|09:31pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Signals Over The Air -- Thursday ] Today was pretty boring. I guess it was a pretty good day. I understood what we did in italian, was exhausted the whole day though. I got home hung out with joe then napped. Woke up at about 7 and yeah thats all. haha amy gave me this note she wrote during the summer today and it's this penguin stationary it's the coolest thing I've ever seen. I got the new thursday cd it's awesome. School makes me such a different person. I'm no fun. This update was so boring. I forgot what I wanted to say. There's Nothing Worse

I wanna blow off stresssss [07 Sep 2003|12:08am] [ mood | restless ] [ music | The Last Song -- AAR ] eyy journal. yeah so tonight I went to country fair with my uncle, his gf, and his gf's grandkids, and my dad. Which is weird saying. I can't believe my uncle is like 48 and I can't believe he's going out with a grandma. She's nice though and doesnt seem that old. We went to the driving range, then went go-karting, then went out for pizza. I swear everytime I go go-karting I get the slowass car. It sucks.I drove my dad into the sidewall though which was awesome. Afterwards we came home and I ripped a couple music videos then played some yahoo pool with mike. There's been 2 days of school and I'm already exhausted and stressed out from school. I don't really know alot of people in my classes. In bio there's absolutely no one, which sucks because I like to have someone to do labs with and talk to...like mike last year in earth science =-/. Then in gym I don't think there's anyone I know in my class. Gym is coed this year, and I have some skinny small girl as my teacher so yeah gym should suck. Band sucks just because it's band. Hopefully lisa and garrett can make that class a little more fun. Me and garett will probably get in alot of trouble like last year. Lunch is ok cuz anthony, joe a, and mike are in it but I really don't talk to anyone that much except mike so it kind of sucks. Italian is ok cuz lisa sits behind me, nick b, nick a, and james are in it but sit far away. Math jeanine and travis are the only onse I know, travis sits kinda close but he's pretty quiet. So math sucks. $90 calculator hah fucking gay. English and social studies are cool cuz debra and sam are in it btu eh english is hard and the teacher said theres gonna be alot of interactive shit and I hate interactive stuff. Social studies is gonna be awesome though. Debra sits in front of me sam sits diagonal from me, alex sits behind me and chris sits next to me. So that should be awesome. Debra's like my new best friend she gives me gum and talks about such random things. Then school is over. Yeah shitty days I see shitty days coming up in school. I miss every single detail about last year. I thought it was so shitty but no I miss it it was wonderful. I get such a different vibe from this year. I wanna do work and do good this year but it makes me feel crappy and almost like there's no time for fun. Here's what I think my days will be like: sunday - work, watching football OR going to dustys football games(i dont wanna go to dustys games), come home, watch tv, go online, listen to music, relax, more tv, sleep monday - school, homework, grandmas, nap, tv, sleep tuesday - school, homework, grandmas, pizza, nap, tv, sleep wednesday - school, computer, homework, tv, more computer, sleep thursday - school, hanging with joe, homework, tv, sleep friday - school, nap, guitar lesson, computer, sleep saturday - spent with dad or at home getting shit i need to get done, done. so yeah there's not much free time to do anything in there. two days to spend with friends, lots of homework, trying to fit in some time to work on my friends computers(given people have problems that they'll let me try to fix), somewhere in there i might considering actually using the phone to maybe call lisa once in awhile but who knows. I think I need to find more time for her. Who'd think that I would actually have to even manage my time? I'm usually never doing anything. It sucks actually having things that need to be done. I really think lisa's gonna get sick of how I suck at being a boyfriend soon enough lol. I guess its just me thinking the worst but yeah. She's paranoid, and thinks she annoys me, so I'm doing something wrong. I hate the way relationships start off. You never know what to do and not do. I wanna show that I care and stuff but at the same time I dont wanna come off as like obsessive or anything. And it's stuff like that, that I always think about and I never know what to do and ahh. But whatever. I started guitar lessons on friday they went pretty good. He said I should adapt to music reading really fast since I already know how to read music. Maybe if I learn some stuff joe can stop saying I have no talent and stop putting me down and maybe he'll even stop calling me an asshole and treating me like crap when other people are over. Hmmm. I'm done. bye journal 6 Said It | There's Nothing Worse

navigation [ viewing | 20 most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]