Tho I am screaming inside [entries|friends|calendar] ~*Lauren*~ [ userinfo | userinfo ] [ calendar | calendar ]

[29 Dec 2004|10:44am] im so sick of everything. i just want to die. 1 // Love Lauren

[29 Dec 2004|10:38am] Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson "Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts" In 2004 you fell in love. Let's hope it lasts. What 2004 Hit Song Are You? Love Lauren

quizzes :) [28 Nov 2004|04:36pm] Virgo - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You're incredibly thoughtful and able to give your partner what they need most. You are totally logical. You can deal with problems without involving your emotions. A good work ethic. You'll do whatever it takes (within reason) to make your relationship work. Your negative traits: Sometimes you are so focused on your goals that you let your relationships suffer You tend to be a perfectionist - and expect perfection from your mate as well You are picky. So picky that you rather be single than with someone who has a few minor faults. Your ideal partner: Values success in life as much as you do Fits a checklist of qualities you've been looking for since childhood Like you, is more practical and realistic than romantic Your dating style: Active. You're a bit hyper, so you'd prefer a date that involved rollerblading in the park or hiking. Your seduction style: You may seem a bit shy, but once you open up to someone - you're totally uninhibited You like to set the scene first - candles, music, nice sheets A bit obsessed with cleanliness, you may want to shower first with your love Tips for the future: Soften up a little. Vulnerability is sexy - and feels great over time. Lower your standards a little. Look past a messy desk or someone being five minutes late. Praise your partner more. You make expect them to be successful, but complements are still appreciated. Best place to meet someone online: eHarmony - the best place to find other busy singles looking for a serious relationship Best color to attract mate: Navy blue Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings. You are 87% Virgo How much do you match your zodiac sign? Love Lauren

[02 Nov 2004|01:06pm] --Your Favorite-- Hair Color:: dark Eye Color:: blue (Their)Music Genre Preference:: they have to like good music. no country crap.  Height(estimate):: i like tall guys! so like 5-8 or more Age:: 16  Personality Type:: funny, smart, athletic, and sweet. --This or That-- Older or Younger:: older Romantic or Horndog:: a mix of both is good Smart or Stupid:: Smart Fat or Skinny:: not like eating disorder skinny, but not in the obesity catogory either Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: big+ muscular Punk or Preppy:: whatever he wants to be The Big Picture or the Little Things:: i think both are important. Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: Flowers/Candy Mixtape or Burned CD:: Burned CD Love or Lust:: Love Emotional or Just Not:: again both. being too much of one thing is bad Sincere or Jokester:: A mixture of both Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: well what about gorgeous and sweet? Sexy or Just "cute":: sexy Arse or Abs:: i love the abs Hair or Hands:: Hands? Dimples or Eyes:: Eyes Biceps or Calves/Thighs::  deffly biceps Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd):: Teeth. i could not kiss someone with nasty teeth. yucky! Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: they are both sexy in their own way.  Rugged or Prim and Proper:: proper is good. Countryboy or Cityboy: city Date alone or With Friends: Depends on the situation Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: mama's boy --Have You Ever-- Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: yea...   Loved a guy because he stalked you:: no? thats a crazy question Loved a guy because he hated you:: no? Asked your friend's crush out:: no way. Lead a guy on for kicks:: only once..... Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: can we say steck? Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: just ricky... Lied about not having a boyfriend:: well sometimes i say josh and i are going out, but we arent.... yet. Lied about having one:: see above Cheated:: never have, never will Been Cheated on:: Yes. and it sucked. Had a crush on a gay guy:: Matt..... --Their Clothing(yes/no)-- Boxers?:: yep... nothing sexier than a guys boxers  Briefs?:: Eh Hat?:: YES YES YES!!! i was kidding about the boxers, hats are a total turn on. theres something mysterious about a guy in a hat Skater Shoes?:: nah Pimp Shoes?:: haha nooooo! Band Shirts?:: nah Vintage shirts?:: yeah Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: eh..could go without Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: so i have no idea what those are... next.... Independent/DC?:: no Skavenger/UGP?:: uh.. no?  Fox/Thor?:: yes Jeans or Shorts?:: jeans, but only some kinds. like the ones that look incredible on guys and make you wanna have a good view of the butt.   --Be Honest-- Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: nope Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: no Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: no Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: yeah.. :/ Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: seeing as i am a virgin... nope. Do looks matter?:: well a little Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: sometimes. Does size matter?:: welll i wouldnt know that one because im still a virgin  Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: sometimes Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: my friends are all pretty. Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: confusing? Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?::occasionally Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: NO! Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: no. it takes time to love people. if they said it too quick then id think needyy!!!! and too attached and probably break up with them. Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: not getting married so thats a no Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: i don't say it often. so yes. Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: i have a few times Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: yess --Favorite.....-- Place to be kissed:: lips/neck. Hugs or kisses:: hugs Holding hands or hands in back pockets:: holding hands Turn ons:: smile, hats, nice butts, and when they hold me just right Freak or slow dance:: slow dance Summer fling or the real thing:: real thing Love Lauren

[19 Aug 2004|09:16pm] i feel kinda obligated to make a quick update since ive been neglecting it almost all week. tryouts are going pretty good. the only bad thing is that coolllean quit :-/ eh... i wish she hadnt because i love hanging out with her and the season would be a million times better with her, but she didnt like it so eh... -anyways- tomorrow we are scrimmaging against north. ahhh its crazy. we have to be at south at 7AM! eeekkk. eileen and i have made a plan... sleep in what we are going to wear tomorrow... get up at 530 to eat... go back to bed until 630 then get up and get everything ready and leave. i think its a good one. :) i want to play north, but i dont. its going to be so weird playing against them. today i had to go to north to get my id and bus pass thing and schedule and all the girls from north were getting theirs too and i saw christina, hannah, merideth, julie, jassy, monica, and jess and i was thinking how am i going to play them tomorrow?! they are all so good. it should be a good game. oh yes.. i got my schedule! my absolute FAVORITE part is that my sister, the senior is taking physical education 2, which is pretty much a sophmore class so you can fill the other quarter of health, and we are in the same class. :-/ its not that i dont like eileen, its just that ehh... its 90 min extra of being with her. living with her and playing sports with her is enough for me. school is pretty much the only place that i can get away from family and stuff and as much as i didnt like elm st i loved the fact that i didnt have my brother or my sister or any of the teachers that they had. i was totally independant. sometimes when you have a teacher that your sibling had sucks. like when i had mrs alexander she had john and hes an awful student! and she treated me like one. i got mostly the same grades as abby, yet she got level ones and i got 2's. go figure. argh. :-/ everyone thinks that its funny, but its not. it sucks. >:0 im thinkin for now on... lj only? im gettin bored with caleida... 1 // Love Lauren

quick update [16 Aug 2004|09:11pm] try outs started today. the new coaches seem nice. we started off by running a mile. i thought i was going to die, but i actually got a pretty good time 7:47. i think its a personal best. :) and i finished 6th so not bad there either. then we did some passing and then some dribbling and a few drill things and then conditioning. i like the way its being done. its done as like a tag team with partners. so i was partners with MA and i dribbled to the 25 ran back and she ran to the 25 dribbled to the 50 ran back then i got it at the 50 and went to the 75....etc.... im excited and nervous and sore and tired and anxious all at the same time and its so bad. im going to go to bed at like 10ish tonite. Love Lauren

[15 Aug 2004|07:02pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | the exit-susan ] ok so this weekend started off pretty damn shitty. my sister and grandmother agreed that this weekend wsnt a good one to go up to the cottage because it was gonna be a lil rainy. i still wanted to go anyways becasue abby was going to come up with me and it was going to be mucho funo... but noooo i never have any say in ANYTHING. well it was kinda chilly out friday with a tiny bit of sun in the afternooon and it was FUCKING GORGEOUS out yesterday which made me so mad that we didnt go up. although i didnt go to the cottage a few good things did come of this weekend, like seeing Ryan Cabrera with hayley. it was so good to see her. shes got a lot going on and now im going to constantly worry about her, but we had fun. it was her first concert. i think we are going to have to see some more. i saw a lot of people there, like torrie nealan. haha. woahh brings back some good duplex memories, but it also makes me miss it A LOT. its so hard to believe that just three years ago at about this time we started to pack everything up. well he told me that he moved out, which i figured out for myself when i went to see him in the spring and hes gonig to north :( that sucks. he told me that he saw joslyn the other day. oh man... shes so different. it makes me wonder if ive changed as much as her. i also saw staci, maryalice, lauren, mandy, jenni, chuck, hilary, cassie and caitlin. notice how all but 3 are girls? lol i <3 ryan cabrera now. hes hott. i took piks which ill prob put on the lj when i finish the camera. haha its like the camera with everything. it has everything from the last month of school and random ones from summer and ryan. i have like 2 piks left so ill use it up soon. today i watched an intire season of the surreal life. it was good, but i have too much time to do nothing. all i could think of was tryouts are tomorrow. omg. i am so fuckin scared. im not in shape at all and ill die if we have to run more than 2 miles and i need to work on stick work, but its kinda rainy and blah out so i dont wanna do it outside and my moms watchin somethin in the family room so there goes my practice space. and i forgot to wash my shin gaurds so they smell like the worst things ever. i havent washed them since indoor. nasty! im gonna be like kelley when she made the bus smelly! i have like a million things racing through my head right now and i dont want to offend anyone or jinx anything so im just going to keep them there and ill most likely update tomorrow about tryouts and how much pain ill be in and how awful i did..... Love Lauren

[08 Aug 2004|08:54pm] I did not realize that i havent updated since wed! well a lot has happened and is going to happen!! i babysat on thurs and the kids actually didnt drive me nuts! i actually kinda had fun. we played hi-ho-the cherry-o and they rode bikes and we played some dr suese(sp?) game not too bad. and when ann got home she was like can i switch the day next week to wed because the boys have cub scout camp and i have to be there between 6 and 615. so i was like ok no problem. but eileen came home from work and was liek wanna go to the cottage tues-thurs because i have like no hours this week. and now i cant go to the cottage :-/ but oh well. its my last week anyways. because FH starts a week from tomorrow. :) fuck yea! friday was a good day. eileen and i got bored so we went shopping. i got some amazing deals. :) we went to khols, bob's, and staples. so now i have all my notebooks, folders, and loose leaf paper for the year all for under $4. pretty good. i didnt get anything at bob's, but she got this nice adidas jacket for $5. also pretty good. i was so happy when we went to khols because i never find anything in there that i like and i actually did, and both things were on sale...50% off!! i got this really cute black shirt thats kinda dressy so its most likely what ill wear the first day. it was orig. 24 but i got it for 12 and then this cute v-neck and v-back shirt thats baby blue for 8 when it was 16. on the way home we got wendy's and i rented confessions of a teenaged drama queen because bree came over friday night. we watched the movie and chilled. it was fun. like always with bree. :) and i dont even think she chased eileen around with the knife! lol i didnt end up goin to bed until after 12 friday night, but i was awake at 6. like wide awake. it was crazy. and i couldnt do anything because it was 6AM on a saturday and i would have been like murdered! but i just chilled out in bed for a lil and thought about random things. like sledding. haha. it was random, but i had the urge to go sledding with abby. which is when i figured out why i was up so early. i was excited that abby was getting back from SYMS. :) so i went grocery shopping with my mom because i had nothing else better to do and i saw coollean! :) yay! i also saw courtney o'brien. i love the way she acted like we were still friends even tho she talked MAJOR shit about me with kala. whatever... she cut her hair and it looks really good tho. later on my sister and i were bored so we went to the target in amherst and got ice cream and had ice cream when we got home. then she worked from 6-12 and i was home all alone because my mom went to kay's for dinner and to hang out until like 11ish. i was online pretty much all night, which was good because josh was too and i wasnt lonely. we actually had a very good conversation and i was very impressed by the way he remembered that one year ago this weekend we met. we dont remember the exact date, but its somewhere around the ninth, which is tomorrow, so we are calling the ninth our anniversary of meeting. it was very sweet. i also almost had a heart attack! he was telling me how he told his friend about the year thing and his friend said he was afraid of commitment and i was so afraid that we were going to label whatever it is that we have and i dont think im ready for that because i am afriad of commitments too. plus it would be wierd if we labeled it gf/bf because we never see each other and we are so far away and stuff. theres really no label that fits us, which is ok because i dont want one and neither does he. but i really do like the way things are. hes like a big football player, but deff the sweetest guy ever. and im so glad we met a year ago. <33 today i woke up around nine when the phone rang, even tho i didnt bother to answer it. and i watched like 2 hours of tv and then went online. around like 1215 bree came on and so did doug (WHO SAW CINDY LAUPER! lucky fuckbag) and we decided to hang out. and we did. they decided to walk a wierd way to my house and go down gilson and countryside so i had to meet them at country side which is only about a mile away, but its all on the main road and all there are is trees, bugs, and emins! eeeeeeeeeek! it seems like such a long walk, and its really boring cuz i walked by myself. then we walked to my house. doug told me that travis is going to be stayin with him all week so im not gonna see him for awhile. lol. i told him my blue plan and he was like just make him need a retrevial. it hurts when it gets crushed in and it hurts when they fish it out. HAHA. im likin that idea better. we chilled at my house for awhile. doug like body slammed me on my bed and tickled me and slapped my ass while bree laughed and pretty much helped. it didnt feel too good. i swear to god hes gonna bruise me because he always hits me in the same spot.argh. anyways. then we went the normal way to jon's house and then to brees. it was funny because they played nintendo and doug was doing really bad so they were makin fun of him. and then he fuckin tickled me again and we made a truce. which he broke. cuz they left and we left and we met back up at dougs and watched a movie and when bree and i had to leave i was walkin up the stairs and he grabbed me and pulled me down the stairs and i wacked my head on the corner of a wall and it hurt like a fucker so i didnt even laugh. and bree and i went back to her house adn chilled n read caseys long surveys until her dad brought me home. it was a pretty fun day even tho we walked like 6 miles. tomorrow bree and i are goin to the park n rec camp to see if they need any more help because neither of us knew coach wares email or number and then im comin home, eatin something, showerin and goin to brees and then the concert :) whoo. this will be my third time seeing them and im soo excited :) i cant wait. its going to be so much fun with bree and casey! tuesday i might be goin to hayleys to catch up with her because i havent seen her all summer and shes been really sick and finally is getting better. thank god. and wed im babysitting, thurs=who knows?! prob hangin with chris. friday- sunday there is a possiblity that my sister and i may go up to the cottage and if we do i want ab to come. it would be so much fun :) ps-hank needs more patience! 1 // Love Lauren

[04 Aug 2004|11:03pm] hm.. not a ton goin on right now. i did pretty much nothign yesterday but FH in the morning and sat around the rest of the day. altho i did hang out with Bree, Doug, and Jon on monday. which was fun. lots of walking, but fun. we mostly hung out at dougs house. we were watchin butterfly effect and bree and i were on the futon and jon was like hay doug, didnt you do your ex on that futon. omg. bree and i got off so fast. he was like yea, but i flipped it. so we sat on the floor for a lil and bree was like lets go raid dougs room for porn. it was so random, but we did. we didnt find any because his parents already snatched it. oh man. i loved his bed. it was soo cumfy! bree and i were lying on it and doug goes on the other side of the bed and smacks my ass sooo hard. omg. it hurt. im suprised that i dont have a bruise or something. *oww* then bree and i went home and doug n jon walked me almost all the way home just so they could go thru tressle brook and get into fights with the lil wussy kids there. lol. it was kinda a boring walk for me. all they did was talk about porn. bleh.. altho i did learn that when ever theres cock in the url its usualy gay porn or porn for girls. haha. today was actually fun. i talked to daniel on the phone for awhile, even tho the reason was a bad one. R.I.P. my umbrellas. lol. i miss him so much. then when my mom got home I GOT A NEW STICK! omg so happy. its not the one i wanted, but oh well. its a green and blue STX WAVE. im gonna try to get a pik up here of it soon. or maybe coollean will. hehe. but after that i went to leda to meet up with bree to play pool. lauren and joana had their league tonite so i chilled with them for a lil until bree got there, which took forever, but i didnt care too much because i had fun with lauren and joana. im gonna miss them next year. well anyways... bree and i played some pool and jo and lauren finished up bowling and then played a game with them. oh man. bree is so good and so are joana and lauren, but im AWFUL! oh man. my mom drove us home and i got some numbers for drivers ed from brees mom :) :) my moms gonna call tomorrow. i hope. ill have to remind her. anyways... everythings goin ok now. my moms not goin away this weekend like was origionally planned. thank god. i was really stressing over it. altho i decided that if she had gone, i would have gone to my dads and hopefully seen josh. Love Lauren

[30 Jul 2004|10:14am] i love it when people come to see me. :) My cousin Kerri brought by her baby Brian tuesday! i was so happy. hes sooooo adorable. she gave me piks of him. i cant believe hes almost 8 months old already! hes crawling and its just so cute! hes also a very big drooler. lol. then later on i hil came by! yay! i told my mom that i might be hanging out with him and she didnt seem to care, but when i called her at work to say i was going out with him she FLIPPED. so i was like well they are waiting for me so im going. we went to wendys with don and his friend kayla and her cousin. then to new serles and when we got there i called my mom to tell her i was there and she flipped out even more on me. blahhh. i dont care. being the youngest really isnt fair sometimes. my sister started going out with andy 3 months after she turned 15 and they would go and drive around with dan and stuff, but im less than 2 months away from being 16 and shes spazzing over me driving with hil. "beacuse she doesnt know him" omg dan is like a million times worse than hil at driving. ROAR. anyways i came home and my mom was all blahhh about it and i really didnt care. so i was in a shitty mood and AnRyCo came over and he was like lets go rent movies and him, my sister and I went. omg it was so funny. we couldnt pick anything so he asked the lady that works there for recommendations.... never do that. haha. so we narrowed it down to three and my sister and i voted out one that sounded dumb and iney meney miney mo'ed the other 2 and we ended up with this wierd movie. i didnt even watch it all. hm so wed i get a call from doug and hes like im at tressel brook come hang out. whooo i was excited. no one is ever around here! so i went and i met him and his friend jon there and we went back to my house and chilled for like 20 min. he gave me a purple bouncy ball! whoo it was exciting! hes getting a poem published! its crazy! but it is really good. then his dad called and yelled at him to come home. so i went back to being bored until chris came over. we chilled for the first time this summer. its amazing how you can live in the same city as someone and not even see them for like 2 months. i thought it was gonna be kinda blah but it ended up ok. we chilled downstairs and talked and played with the bouncy ball doug gave me. its so wierd the way i feel like i want something, but then again i dont. i want a boyfriend, but i cant have the one i want. i also dont want to be just filling in the spaces with random people either. the way i look at it, everyone that i get little crushes on barely equal up to the guy i want which makes me think that theres something really fake about him. how can anyone be so perfect? sigh.... :( yesterday was captains practice. i didnt stop while running. it was muggy out and thats my fav time to run. i was so sweaty and gross after and i screwed up my calf so advil is currently my best friend. after we went to pizza hut for lunch. yum. it was so much fun. i cant believe that so many people dont go to the practices. it was really wierd doing a team bonding type of thing with out them. well, not really tho. it was both schools, but still. we are a team. i cant believe its gonna be split. im going to miss them all so much. :( hopefully we will have some joint practices :) yaaaaaaaay! oh man, that would be so much fun. what am i going to do with out mook and nurse christina and julie?!? :( Love Lauren

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