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September 7th, 2005

08:53 pm - Peanuts I have decided. My life goal has irreversibly changed to one of becoming NKF's CEO. Can you imagine? Being a lover of peanuts and almonds and hazelnuts and stuff, I have never seen a peanut that's worth 600K before. Man, can you imagine what I can do with that peanut? Man, the possibilities are endless. And then there is that fact that I can service my car for free, and fulfill my overwhelming aristocratic tendencies by worshipping the golden tap winking at me from the bathroom. Or that all-too-expensive toilet bowl. I wouldn't really want to sit on it, though. It costs more than a thousand bucks, and I can always go crap somewhere else. My butt's not all that pristine, and neither are the things that come out of it. And now that I have sufficiently grossed half of you out, I shall now change the subject. Or not. Come to think of it, since I have always abhorred sitting in economy class on planes, I can bitch for a first class ticket and make excuses for it. Hmm, that should be interesting. Can you imagine, getting served hand and foot and laughing at the sad buggers who get stuck in economy class? I wouldn't want to meet anyone who knows me there, though. Then I've got to start making more excuses and slap writs on people. Nah, too much of a hassle. Downside, though, is I might have a muddy reputation like that T.T Durex guy, and might want to start suing people right and left. And then there is that issue of a superiority complex. My own is bad enough, thank you very much. Hmm, that is definitely something to think about. I don't think he'll be worrying too much, though. Squirrel Man most probably hoarded all his peanuts at home and would be ready to live a very nutful life. Well...if he doesn't go to jail, that is. I like peanuts. I have now come to the end of my demented ramblings, and I leave you all now. Good bye. Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Elvis Presley--Are You Lonesome Tonight

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