Bleed one more time for me [entries|friends|calendar]
failurebydeslgn

[ userinfo | userinfo ]
[ calendar | calendar ]

MOVED [11 Nov 2004|02:24am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I am moving to livejournal


Hey friends! Im sorry but Im moving over to livejournal. This journal site grew boring to me because there seems to be less and less people on it. however if you still want to read my journal you can do so , here is the link:


My New Journal
[username = _bluechannel ]

please atleast go check it out , it took me awhile to make.

If you have a LIVEJOURNAL and want to be friends on there that would be great, just comment on my livejournal or even comment here with your name on LJ. Im going to keep this journal up but Im not going to update at all and I dont know about commenting.

Thanks! and I hope you guys are all doing well.
bye bye for now. Ill miss you! ♥

7 It's not a lie if you believe it

if only.. [13 Oct 2004|10:12pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Devil in Jersey City - Coheed and Cambria ]

Well I lied..I wanted to write..and I didnt make my livejournal yet so heres another update.

Coheed and Cambria was last night. It was a really good time; Matt [cousin] drove us down. We just sat about for the first band; they were called three. I didnt like them. I can say that they were talanted..they just opened up for the wrong band. We finally got up and went to the floor cause Underoath was next. I think I had my standards set to high for them. I really was expecting them to blow me away but they really didnt. I didnt care for them live. It isnt going to change my opinion of them but I think that it wasnt that good..Half of the time I didnt even know what song they were playing. Next was Coheed and Cambria.They had a really cool intro; they had some lady talking but I didnt know what she was saying and they would have their symbol flash up on the wall. They were sooo good. They played for about an hour and a half which rocked.

There was this boy there who basically protected me. I felt this kid getting closer and eventually he had his arms like around me to push people away. and then they ended up on my hips.Then he was holding my hand. It was weird cause he was like singing the lyrics and it was like right in my ear then he was tapping his fingers on my stomach to the beat. When they played "Light & The Glass" he had his arms basically around me. It sounds weird since I dont know him..but it was nice; to have someone close to me..I didnt get as hurt.Plus it was cool he respected me and he wasnt trying to feel me up or anything.

Afterwards he was like "hey my names adam by the way" and i told him i was melissa he aksked me if it was my first time seeing coheed and i asked where he lived. and he told me kent but orignally lyndhurst.He told me it was nice meeting me but he had to go find his ride and im like "oh okay well maybe..ill see you around [hoping hed want to exhancge #'s or something] and hes like "yes of course.. next time coheeds in town" I was going to ask him for his # but I didnt have a pen..so I thought maybe screen name but he was already leaving....I really regret not getting his number but there isnt anything I can do now. =/

Coheed ended with In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 and thats my favorite song..it was such a good show. The place it was at has this new no crowdsurfing rule; so I wasnt kicked in the face 83 times.

It was kind of funny cause after Matts car wouldnt start up..and noone seemed to have jumper cables. People were dicks about it but what can you do. We found someone and apparently got home safely.

Today was one of those days where I didnt feel like doing anything..so I didnt..I just feel like being a slacker right now..Hopefully it will pass =x

I didnt get the job at the icecream store by the way..They never called me. I called them today and hes like "well the hiring guy isnt in so Ill have him call you" and basically kind of hung up on me. Whatever..Im pissed I didnt get the job. Oh well Im sure a bunch of dumb girls from my school will work there.Its stupid I didnt get hired cause I was willing to work 30 hrs a week...

this mask of glass is what i choose to wear! )


next friday is Story of the Year/ My Chemical Romance..cant wait =]

if you believe it

homecoming [09 Oct 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Memory - Sugarcult ]

Last Saturday was homecoming and it was actually a lot of fun this year. We went to eat which cost me quite a bit of money but thats okay. After that Amber decided she wanted mcds [no she didnt eat out with us ;p ] so we went in , in our dresses. Then to the dance. The dance was alright itself but of course they played really really lame music. I guess thats expected at a highschool dance. I didnt get to slow dance with anyone but that's okay. I just danced around with my friends and what not. Well we left when it was over and went to Jasmines. We were going to the Rocky Horror Picture show. Well her mom wanted to go as well but she didnt get there until 11, not to meation she was so drunk. We all drove out there but we had to keep up with Joe [jasmines bf] and her mom. Well her mom decided to stop for cigarettes and then to pee so naturally we were late. It was like.. 12:40 by the time we got there. and they wouldnt let us in. So we went back to Joes van since it was freezing to try and decide what to do. We decided Dennys so we followed Joe to dennys but when we got there we decided to go to the one in parma by us. So Joe told us to follow him onto 90 west and stay in the left lane till we hit parma. Well somehow Jen got on 90 east and we didnt reazlize it. Jasmine did but she didnt have my cellphone. So we were driving forever, me,amber and bob fell asleep in the backseat. I woke up and Jen was pulling over to a truck stop and told us she just saw a sign that said 37 miles: Pennsylvania so yes, we were almost in Pennsylvania.. We looked at the map and the three girls changed out of their dresses. Bob drove us back home and then we decided to go to Dennys here. Jen let me borrow some clothes which were a hundred sizes too small and we went in. Katie ended up getting sick from her pancakes so we went back to Bobs house. We ended up laying around there until about 6:30 am then we left back to ambers house.

So basically we were so far our past curfew that it wasnt curfew anymore. And we spent from about 11 pm - 3 am in the car. =x Go us!

I did have pictures..but my computer decided to die yesterday so I cant put them on here.. sorry. maybe another time

Speaking of that, Yes my computer crashed. Bob came over and took it away so he could fix it. I hope he can fix it. Ill love him forever. He told me Im going to loose everything, which is kind of sad considering I had a ton of songs. But what can ya do.

Oh yeah. I have a job interview on Sunday. I think they might be interviewing everyone though. The cool thing is that it's only open until 9 pm so I would be willing to work almost everyday. I dont care, I need money. It's at this icecream store thats opening on Saturday, Ill see how that goes. Im just not sure who wants to hire me cause I have a lot of shows comming up..such as

Coheed and Cambria / Underoath = Tuesday!!

Im thinking of switching to Livejournal or Greatestjournal, anyone know which one is better? So im thinking this might be my last entry on caleida, it became boring to me because it's basically dead. Ill update with my new link, when I get one. ♥

9 It's not a lie if you believe it

another update =/ [01 Oct 2004|03:16am]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | Promise - Matchbook Romance ]

School is so lame. I don't know how I survived it this long. I always get so stressed out and half of the time it is for no reason at all. I know I'm probably going to do well , so why worry? Like last night I was doing my government homework and I didnt get it, so I gave up. Then I had to finish my math homework but I didnt get that either..so I gave up. I was freaking out because I had to take a math test today and I didnt really get what I was doing, so I got pissed and went to bed. Well I got at school today and as usual things went okay. He didnt collect the government homework and he ended class 15 minutes early so I finished my math homework. Then I got to math and there was only 2 problems on the entire test that I didn't get .. so why do I do it? I dont know..but Im doing it again..because I have a government test tomorrow and he told us if we didn;t study we are basically screwed..which is where Im at right now..screwed. ugh. I just want to not be stressed for one minute.

Im also annoyed because I am getting an A in everyclass besdies cooking. Im getting a C, and I dont know why. I do everything but the teachers a bitch. I know I didnt turn in one assignment but the other one I didnt turn in is because I was absent all those days with the swedes and when I asked what needed to be made up she didnt tell me to turn in the cake evaluation. Plus I had it done..so I took it to her today and she said she 'guesses' she can give me 5/10 on it..so now im still missing 15 points..ugh this grade better go up or Ill be pissed.

I did get my highschool transcript though so far. Its annoying cause my gpa dropped every year, 9th grade it was 3.84, 10th it was 3.48 and 11th it was 3.45.. Goes to show that I stopped caring more each year or something. But overall my class rank at the end of last year is 79 out of 271 kids in my grade..so I guess im not that dumb ;p

Homecoming is on saturday. I dont have a date but I dont really care. Im going with a bunch of my friends and I think we are going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show afterwards but Im not positive. Actually Im not sure whats really going on but hopefully someone will let me know ;]

Today I went downtown and bought me,jen,katie, and ambers concert tickets. It was sure a lot of tickets but atleast I finally got them. Its weird how 5 shows are coming up all at once, I hate that.

Senses fail was on the 20th and it was alot of fun. The stage is like to your knees though so I was in front and kept getting pushed into the stage and eventually onto the stage. a bunch of us were just sitting on the stage but it hurt cause people were like landing on your back. I was right by the speaker thing Buddy kept comming by so that was rad. They did an awesome job, and Silverstein as well. Afterwards I met Dave and Buddy. I ended up with huge bruises and a scrap on my nose, but it was worth it..they put on a really good show.

Well thats all, comment if you wish..i might switch to greatestjournal or livejournal because caleida seems really dead to me..

if you believe it

swedish invasion part 2 [23 Sep 2004|08:27pm]
[ mood | productive ]
[ music | Theres no I in team - Taking Back Sunday ]

Swedish Invasion, part two...read that last entry before this one or you will be lost..

Wednesday , September 15
Today they got to go to a full day of school with us, which was majorly boring. After school we came home and ate. Then we left for Tower City to meet for the Indians Game. After getting to our seats I saw Gustaf sitting all alone and I wanted to take a picture with him but once again I felt stupid. So here goes me and mom walking over. She asks and I got a picture with him. I asked him if he would mind if I wrote to him and he said he wouldnt mind. It was funny cause this was the first time I even talked to him. Then I had to stand there cause they were singing the national anthem. We all had our hands on our hearts and hes just standing there so he looked at me and smiled and then had this 'oh shit' face and put his hand on his heart as well. The game was kind of a boring game, we went back to our seats. Martina, Jess and I just basically talked the whole game because Im not really a fan of baseball. We left early to beat the traffic but the Indians did win.

Thursday, September 16
Niagara Falls, Canada. We had to get up nice and early. I slept most of the way on the bus though. I woke up and didnt even know where I was, then I rembered I was on the bus to Niagara Falls. Its so hard to sleep in those seats. Well since we had Americans and Swedes it was even harder to get into Canada. But we finally did. We looked at the falls, and went to lunch. Walking back from lunch we stopped in a few stores. We didnt really have much time for anything because we had to be back for the Maid of the Mist.Its this boat that goes really close to the falls. I never went on it before but wow, it really was amazing. Minus the getting soaked part. We got to walk around a little bit but then we had to get back on the bus. Well we got back on the bus and since everyone moved around me and Jess moved up and I got to sit diagonal/ almost next to my love Gustaf. I would of sat by Martina but she was sitting with someone else on the way, so I figured she would sit by her on the way back. Getting back was harder because Mia [the swedish teacher] told her students they didnt need the greencard. So they werent going to let them back in but they made an exception about after an hour. Mia was crying ;[ , she had to go through so much shit this week [she had her jaw wired shut] On the way I actually talked to Gustaf. I offered him some skittles , since he never had any and he took one so I told him to take more. After eating about half my bag, he gave them back to me. I dont really know what else we talked about. I asked him for his screenname. Oh Jess was trying to get a pic of Magnus who was sitting next to Gustaf but it didnt come out good, so I made them smile again and took one. =] [im not a stalker I swear]. He told me "he always looks stupid in pictures" pft.. I showed him all my pictures and I had one of him sleeping on there and I was like "okaythatsnotyou" haha. ;x He had the cutest accent. Well I dont really remember what we talked about but then we all ended up falling aleep.

Friday September 17
Today we had to go to first period class and then we got on the bus to go eat a buffet breaksfast at the Hard Rock Cafe. After that we had to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We got pink wristbands and I told Gustaf pink was totally his color, and then we tried to put a clip in his hair [you will understand when you see the pics of him.] Well we got inside and he was in my group ;p. Martina, Jess, me, and Ben walked around the bottom floor. When we were about to meet I saw this guy who looked exactly like Adam Lazzara But i was too scared to ask him so I was just about to and Mia said we had to go upstairs. I asked Jess and Martina and noone would ask this guy. SO im sitting there freaking out and I was like "GUSTAF you ask" and hes all "what.." and im like "dude i think the singer of my favorite band is here" and then I was like "taking back sunday"..who he doesnt know of..So I was asking people that worked there and they said the only band there was Phantom Planet. Hm, not much else happened. We got on the bus and I informed Martina, and Gustaf that I didnt find out for sure if it was adam or not. We got back to school and Martina and I were waiting for our rides and Gustaf and Sean his host was too so we got to talk more. ;p Sean was throwing his yo-yo around and Gustaf was all "Dont break it, what will you do with all your time when Im gone" and then Sean yelled at him for answering freshmens questions he told Gustaf that all the freshmen made fun of him and gustaf was like "I am Swedish, everyone loves a swede noone makes fun of us." and when I asked sean if his ride forgot him Gustaf said "noone leaves a swede behind" I told him that we do love the swedish, they are so nice .. seriously. I told Gustaf Id take him home but not sean :]. Well my aunt got there. We went home and my mom took us to the mall cause martina wanted to get this shirt, then to marcs to get some makeup. Then we had to take them to the airport..

Airport
Well all good things always have to come to an end. I knew I would end up crying.. We got there and just talked with Martina. Took some more pictures, got some hugs. I got a picture with all of the guys, but it was probably my lame excuse to get another picture with Gustaf. =/. He was over talking to us and then walked away. I had bought him some skittles since he liked them so much but I was trying to give them to him when Martina wasnt right there. Well after a while Gustaf comes over to me and holds his arms out for a hug. It was so cute...so I gave him his skittles. I was all "hey i bought you these" and hes like "thank you -huge smile-" so i explained that there is more then one kind of skittle after he stared at the package. So then I gave him the hug he came over for..after that I busted up crying..I finally stopped and we were taking more pictures and what not. I was telling gustaf everytime he eats skittles he has to think of me and he asked me if martina gave me some kind of candy, from sweden which is his favorite but she didnt. Uhm, lets see.. I hugged Mia and told her thank you, She is such a sweet lady. After that I was just giving everyone hugs, I hugged all these girls and then Gustaf was by them so he reached out his arms again..and I got another hug which didnt help my crying spree. I told him Id write to him soon. Then Martina and I hugged again and we both busted up crying hard. She told me she would write to me but I think Ill write to her tonight or tomorrow. I walked up to Olof, who I havent talked to all week and gave him a hug as well. Then they were waiting to get their passpots checked and I just stood there crying like an ass until we left.

Yes, I cried most of the night and then I went to bed early because I didnt want to cry anymore.. They were seriously such a great group of people. Last time I hosted it wasnt so hard to let go cause we didnt get close but this time it was, espically since I seen how nice their guys are.

If you want to see pictures from this week, there is a ton behind this cut.
...and did you know I miss you? )

Do you think its possible for my soulmate to live in Sweden..haha ;x
Sorry it is so long..but it was a big week. =]
if you ever have a chance to host someone , do it.. it was a great experience.

p.s it wasnt adam at the rock hall.. it was the guy in Phantom Planet.. haha good thing I didnt ask ;x

3 It's not a lie if you believe it

Swedish Invasion part one [23 Sep 2004|06:30pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Mixology of Tom Collins- Less than Jake ]

Even though it was a week ago Im going to update on my week last week. My school every other year has some Swedish kids come and you can host on in your house if you want. It's only for a week and we get to go on frield trips and such so I hosted. The girl I hosted her name is Martina. She was very very nice. So I will start off with the first day .. yeah.

Im going to do this in two updates because its long..plus there is pictures..so the first half of the week:

Friday, September 10
Well I had to go to school and pick Martina up at the airport after school. So right after school we checked in with the teacher and headed to the airport. We had to all wait for them with our Welcome to America signs. They eventually came off the plane and we waited for Martina to come find us considering we had the signs. Um not much to say except this is the first time I saw my love, Gustaf. haha. After that we went back to the school for a potluck dinner. It was alright but long and dragged out. Taking Martina to the grocery store was funny because we have so much more of everything here in America. It was an early night, she went to bed at like 9 pm because Sweden is 6 hours ahead of us. But we were already getting along so that was great.

Saturday, September 11
Not much happened today. We took Martina to the mall and then a few golf stores cause she wanted to buy a golf club. We ate at Fazoli's which is very yummy. There was a swim party at one of the host's house but we decided not to go and shopped all day instead.

Sunday, September 12
Cedar Point day today! We had to get up at like 6:00 am I think because we were going to leave the school at 7. We all got ready and got to the school. We had to wait for everyone so we stood around and talked. I really wanted a picture of Gustaf but I havent talked to him yet, so my mom .. goes up to the four guys and asks to take a picture. =] . So we get to cedar point and it was a blast. I love that place. Martina went on some rides but not all the crazy ones. So I made my little sister go on the Dragster and the Millenium Force with me. Martina didnt want to go on upside down rides but we got her on the Raptor and she loved it, so we went on it again. It was a long day, we didn't get home until late and we were dead tired.

Monday, September 13
Today we got to take our Swedes to school. We got to miss first period because we had to take a picture of all of us in front of the school sign, which i still havent seen. Then the Swedes missed 2-4 because they got to go to cosmetology and get whatever they wanted done. Martina got her nails done and her hair curled. Very cute. Um, after school I think we went to another mall and to eat at the Winking Lizard.

Tuesday, September 14
This morning was another early morning. Jess came to get Martina, and I to go to Amish Country at like, 6:05 am. This is when we reazlied Martina was missing her purse. After searching in our house, and car forever we had to leave. We got at school and she got real upset cause he money and camera was in it. Well we left for Amish country and when we got there we got this tour of this Menonite painting. After that we went to the Cheese factory [mm] and a little mini tour. We also got to go to a school house to see how the Amish were taught. It was really cute, they sang to us and everything. We also go to go in a buggy ride and tours of amish homes. After that we got to eat lunch in a real amish house. It was soo yummy. Oh yeah, my mom sent me a text and told me they found Martinas purse at the Winking Lizard, so that was a huge relief. After we ate we got to go shopping in Berlin. It was a lot of fun. I dont know why but it was Me,martina,jess,ben,jason and then we had hannah with us as well. This was probably one of the most fun times espically cause I only bought marshmallows but we spent so long in this porcelin doll shop. haha.. It was kind of odd that Ben told me Johnny Depp is hot and he wants to buy a porcelin doll, but thats Ben for you.

continued on next entry...please read..

if you believe it

quick update [20 Sep 2004|02:22pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Lady in a Blue Dress - Senses Fail ]

I suck at updating lately. I did end up going to that 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' and it was a lot of fun. I wish I could of goten some pictures of us but I forgot my camera.

OH, by the way I found the nice guys...

Amber and I decided that all the good guys are hiding in other countries such as Sweden and Canada. . I hosted a Swedish girl at my house last week for school and there was 13 all together.

I absolutely adored the one Swedish boy named Gustaf ♥. . to bad he lives across the ocean.

Ill write more about the hosting a Swede tomorrow.. but right now Im off to sleep before the Senses Fail show tonight. ♥

2 It's not a lie if you believe it

cry me a river. [02 Sep 2004|01:28am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Dissolve and Decay - Hawthorne Heights ]

Right now I feel horrible. I have that feeling where I want to cry and I cant. It hurts my chest and my throat but I cant cry. For some reason I want to because I dont want this pain in my throat. Why am I on the verge of tears? I have no idea. I do have a few theories though..

1) I don't get to see any of my close friends this year at all during the school day because my schedule sucks.
2) I want everyone to be their own person. I dont like when people want to pose off me, or want to do everything I do [follow me], and it feels like someone is doing that to me. I need my space, as do you. Some people say when people pose off you it should be flattering but its not to me, so stop.
3)School..is just depresses me.
4) or perhaps it could be the winter comming up, I heard people get more sad in the winter.
5) People are starting to change for the worse. Some of my friends are becoming distant and their boyfriends are coming before their friends, nothing pisses me off more.
6) and basically I feel lonely
7) Im not always as happy as you think i am .

I think I need to meet more people. The friends I do have a wonderful but I just want to meet more friends. You can never have enough friends. But I'm too shy..

Saturday night Jasmine wants me to go to this thing called 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' but Im not even positive I know what it is.

Oh and I uploaded that pic of Me,Jasmine and Xanadu, its behind the cut
three stars! )

Well,Im crying now for no apparent reason..and Im off to bed because sitting here isnt helping.

Ill wait for you, I cross my heart

9 It's not a lie if you believe it

cockadoodlemoo [30 Aug 2004|12:47am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | Thank you for the Venom - My Chemical Romance ]

I survived my first week of school! How wonderful. I don't have that many classes with my friends but I guess I'll live. My modern communications class isnt as bad as I thought it would be. It actually is kind of fun but at the same time lame. At lunch I have been sitting with Jess,Mary Jane and Jasmine. Its cool because when I was like in 2nd grade I met Jasmine and she moved and we lost touch so now we are talking again. I dont really have much more to say about school..

Friday Me,Amber and Katie S went to the football game. It was alot of fun. We went over and sat by the other team cause Ambers neighbor is on the team. It was actually kind of funny because we were looking at pins of the guys on the other team and she knows this boy named zak and im like "Oh zaks pretty cute" and the guy selling the buttons was like "Oh..zaks my son" haha talk about bad timing. After the game we were going to go to the band party but decided it sucked so we went to Katies house. we walked up to get pizza which was fun. It was a pretty fun night.

Saturday Jasmine called me and we were trying to get my mom,her mom and us to hang out cause they havent seen eachother in a long time. Well then it was going to be me,her bf,her, and amber. Well after about 6 hours of calling eachother back we decided to just go to Jasmines. It was me,jasmine,amber and Xanadu. Okay it was weird, I havent seen Xanadu since I was like.. in 6th grade about. Its been awhile. She had a baby on Easter and hes adorable.I didnt get to see him because when she goes out her mom watches him. She changed so much, she used to have really dark hair and now its blonde. I didnt even recognize her when I saw her. Me,Jasmine and Xanadu used to be like.. best friends. We had this thing where we were all a direction? North,South,East and West. We ALWAYS tried to find a fourth person but it never worked. Anyways... we went to Arabica and it was funny because we were talking about really weird things like boob jobs and these two older guys were laughing cause they were tyring to work on their accounting. Well we just talked about old times and laughed. Its funny how weird we were as kids.Its funny how we used to eat dog bones, and have bonfires. Its funny how Jasmines mom used to scare the piss out of us with her stories by the campfires and how we would fight over a pile of dirt at school.Shaving cream fights and shaving cream boobs. Puffy eyes from gak.. Its funny how we would run around screaming cockadoodlemoo and bawk bawk moo. I miss it, I really do.

After that we got in the car and tehre was this ugly spider behind me. Jasmine tried to get it out without killing it but it ran. It was so funny cause she kept screaming. So we asked the guys in arabica to kill it and they did. We were going to go bowling but there were no lanes so we went to this arcade and played pool. I never really played but it was fun. Plus it was only like 7 dollars an hour. All these people kept talking to Xanadu, Haha. I was just like okay but they were all kinds of guys I wouldnt want to talk to me anyways. After that we went to Jasmines moms house [she lives with her grandma] I havent seeen Kelly [her mom] for a long time and she didnt even recognize me at first >.< . So we just sat around and talked. Kelly;s boyfriend was totally wasted. So we were talking to him and his responses were amusing. He was holding the cat and hes like "Dont worry we will get you applications" ..we were all like "...." and hes like "what..the cat needs a job" and he would randomly just start laughing. Jasmine was like "are you afraid of mr.rogers" and hes all "No not today..but Im afraid of the pizza boy" and he opened the front door and told us there was a serial killer.. hahaha. Good times. After about 3 hours of laughing we all went home. It was such a good night. I took a pic of the 3 of us, but I have to upload it to my comp so I can show you guys.

Its funny how people change..how much could happen in 5 years..or even in a year..

Anyways, Im glad we are all talking again and that I get to graduate with Jasmine.

There is so many concerts coming up and I dont think Ill have someone to go with to all five of them because I cant just choose. there is Senses Fail/Silverstein ... Mest/Hawthorne Heights...Taking Back Sunday/Atreyu..Coheed and Cambria.. and Story of the Year/Bayside/My Chemical Romance. . I cant exclude any of those, so I hope someone will go with me to them either that or I dont know what Ill do. Id go alone if my mom would let me.. but Im sure between Callie and Amber I can maybe get people to go..

Oh well =]

2 It's not a lie if you believe it

YIPPPPI [22 Aug 2004|07:42am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Buried a Lie - Senses Fail ]

I finally went out and bought me and Ambers Senses Fail Tickets. The shows on September 20th at the Grog shop everyone should go [well if you live in ohio] Let me know if you are going!. Its </b>Senses Fail/Silverstein/The Bled </b>and .. someone else I cant remember. I fear for me and ambers lives cause I hear the crowd will be crazy for The Bled. eEek. At the moment me and Amber are trying to find bodyguards. Rofl. any takers? =]

I cant wait, Im so excited.! =]!! ♥

if you believe it

New stuff [18 Aug 2004|02:01am]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | Three Evils [Embodies in Love and Shadow]Coheed and Cambria ]

Sorry Ive been lacking on updates and comments.

School starts in a week and Im not ready for all the drama again. It seems to me all my school is ,is sluts, ghetto wannabes and bitches. But Ill live. I think most school are like that. Maybe this years freshmen will be better than some of the kids in last years. All I remember is them throwing stuff at us at lunch, immature yes. Oh well Im going to be a senior this year and Im scared for it to end. Its like everything Ive known for the past 13 + years is just going to be gone one day. I dont know where I want to go to college and what I want to be. And to tell you the truth Im not wanting to leave from my friends. But its life and Ill get through it.

I havent really done much this summer but what I did do was fun and its all coming to an end. This summer was good I guess, there was really fun things that happened and really bad things. Tomorrow I am going to the beach with my friends and then I might do something with my other friends tomorrow night,, if we can think of something to do.

I got two new skirts, a shirt and new shoes so far. Yes, Skirts. I dont usually wear skirts but these two are cute. So Ill show you pictures of me and pictures of my new things just incase you cared. click that link..

To be the hero is all I'll ask! )

Amber and I have decided that guys suck around here. So if theres any good guys where you live please ship them to us. =].. tho that is very unlikely. *sigh.*

♥ ♥ ♥
if you want to see my canada pictures go here http://photobucket.com/albums/v56/Silent_Secret/Canada/
because there is too many to post

7 It's not a lie if you believe it

[05 Aug 2004|02:44am]
[ mood | lazy ]
[ music | Bite to Break Skin - Senses Fail ]

Today I was going to go out and visit my friends at band camp but it was cold and rainy. Plus I didnt wake up until 3:00 and everyone was trying to figure out tomorrow. I ended up sitting home all day again. I just watched some t.v. I love that show switched, I think it would be really cool to go on that except I'd probably make an ass of myself. Anyways, then I got online, surprise. Oh I talked to this boy that we met at a concert a few months back and found out him and his friend is going to the Senses Fail concert in September. Awesome =]. Maybe if we find them there, or meet up with them we will have a bigger group then just me and amber. Not that I mind going with just Amber because we always have a fun time. I don't know if Callie is going, she might not have the money. Maybe being with a couple guys we won't get our asses kicked considering I did last senses fail concert. But I dont even know if we are going to meet up with them. It would be cool to keep in touch with them I think it'd be nice to have friends outside of our school. You can never have too many friends, I just never talk to people at concerts because I never have the courage to. Im shy, but only at first ;)

Tomorrow I am going to Canada. I guess it will be fun, I wanted to take a friend but now I can't because my brother came home. We are only going for two nights. So I'll be back Saturday. We are leaving at 9 am though and its already 3 am. I'll probably just go to bed at 7 am like usual and sleep in the car. The ride there is five hours. It should be fun, Ill take pictures. I love `Niagara Falls` they are always cool to see. Some people think canada is a cool place to go but I've been there alot in my lifetime. I mean its cool [and has a lot of cute guys ;p] but I dont know.

Next week we might be going to Pennsylvania to do some things depending on when I work. or if I even work. I worked one day in the past 3 weeks, I dont know whats wrong with them. I suppose I should start looking for a new job, any ideas? haha

Well Im out of here, Have a good next few days and when I come back Ill update you on my canada visit. Dont cut me from your friends list., I will return ♥ ♥ ♥

4 It's not a lie if you believe it

warped. [03 Aug 2004|11:23pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Hey I changed my layout again =/, Haha. I wasnt happy with the flower one. So here is TBS.What an awesome band. do you like this background? I made it on PSP. I actually like it =p. So I wanted to update about Warped tour which was almost 2 weeks ago.

July 23, 2004.
Well it was Me,Erika,Katie C,Callie,Katie S, Amber and Jen. We got down there and met up with Andy and Chris. Well this year the stages were in a different area than last year. We picked what bands we wanted to see and then ended up watching Allister since noone else was playing. They were okay but Im not really into them. Then Callie called Dennis [her bf] and we had to go up to find him by the gates. When he came we were continuing to figure out where the new stages were. Well we found them and walked in the back. I look behind me and everyone is there besides Callie and Dennis, which kind of irritated me because I wanted us to be together and she went off with the bf. Oh well. The rest of us watched Letter kills They were REALLY good for a band I barely knew. After that we were all going to watch matchbook romance but Dennis and Callie came back and everyone besdies Amber,Katie S and Jen went with them. Which also pissed me off because they were all talking shit about how callie walked off with dennis, but whatever. Matchbook Romance was great. We were suppose to meet the rest of the group up by the crowd for Yellowcard but I couldnt find them, or get ahold of them. So we watched yellowcard . It was crazy during them because it was a crowd of angry puberty hitting girls trying to get close to see the `hot` members of YC. Some crazy crowdsurfer fell and instead of grabbing my body he grabbed the neck of my shirt, causing it to rip. After YC we walked to meet the rest of my friends and Erika was crying. She told me Katie C fell and couldnt feel her leg, so she was at the hospital with Callie. Erika was going to leave but we talked her into staying. We just chilled a bit after that and I tried to figure out how to fix my shirt with rubberbands. It was funny because we went to the bathrooms and then I being the smartone I am walked into the guys bathroom. It was stupid because I didnt reazlie it but this guy held the door for me, like and didnt say anything. Wow, I was like O.O and walked back out. Then story of the year was playing. So me and Chris started to go up in the crowd. The rest of them wanted to stay out and Amber was not feeling to well. So we stayed on the side Coheed would be playing on and I was far back so I didnt really get to `watch them`. Right after them was Coheed and Cambria and I was all alone ;[. BUT wow, they did a great job despite what anyone else thinks of them. They opened with In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3. Which was amazing, I really love that song and I didnt think they'd play it because its such a long song. Well Claudios voice was high and wonderful. After them we walked in the back to try and find their stand so I could buy a shirt. On the way Amber bought a Taking Back Sunday shirt with sheep and it says ``to hell with you and all your friends`` and then she was almost throwing up so she sat by the garbage and we fanned her. She was going to go home and i was like NOOO ;[[[[[[[, so we made her sit in the shade till she felt better. I went and was trying to find the Coheed stand with Erika and Jen and we got free condoms, and I signed me and Amber up for alternative press magazine for only 5 dollars each! what a bargin, for a year too. So I bought my shirt, it says Coheed and Cambria and its over their symbol and it says In keeping secrets of silent earth : 3 on it too. Wow, so we went back by amber and I tried to put the condom on my hand but it broke and I got lubricant all over myself. mm. After that we all got up and went to see New Found Glory I went in alone ;[ again but I ended up finding my cousin, who totally wrapped his arm around my neck and started screaming lyrics to me. I found my brother too, and yeah. NEW found Glory was wonderful, they played a lot of old songs which I loved. After NFG we went and sat under the brdige because we had 2 hrs till the next band and believe me we were all wore out. I could barely walk because my toe hurt soo bad. So after that we went and tried to bum stuff off YC's merch people since KT hurt herself during them btu all we got were buttons, so Erika bought her a warped tour shirt. Oh it turns out Katie's leg wasn;'t broke but it was sprained. Poor her ;[, Well the next band was Taking Back Sunday! They were the last band of the night so it was crowded but oh my love for them. With my half broken toe and amber about to throw up we went up close. I saw my cousin again and then some of his friends. It was such a good ending for such a crazy day. They Played `` Cute without the E`` last which was awesome. I love them so much ♥ ♥

Oh I found a wallet and keys and instead of keeping the $ I kindly gave it to the security :].

So overall despite all the injuries,sickeness, shirts getting ripped off etc. we had a blast and I cant wait to do it again next year. If you're going this
year have fun!

p.s Chris left Katies shirt that erika bought on the bus accidently, figures, thats our luck. ;x

2 It's not a lie if you believe it

excitement [23 Jul 2004|12:37am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Bike Scene- Taking Back Sunday ]

Geez, what the hell. I come on Caleida to find my old layout back. When I spent all that time making it blue. And no sir..I am not re doing it blue because Im sick of my journal changing. gesh good job caleida.

On a better note Amber finally turn 17. And so did D! yay happy birthday you youngins. One more year until youre legal, even though being legal got me nowhere so far.

So yes, warped tour is today [friday] and Im so excited. Its going to be a blast. I can not wait to see Taking Back Sunday the most. Oh no, i really cant.

Why am I up? Who knows. I should be sleeping since I have to be up in about 8 hours and then be at a concert forever. But no, since I usually am up til 7:00 am, I cant go to bed this early. Im not even tired.

Shit, my mom bought me a red bull energy drink because I told her I want to drink one before warped because I know im going to get tired . . As if I need anymore energy.,

well loves, Im out. Sorry I never update but this weeks been a little crazy.

4 It's not a lie if you believe it

sun and jobs [14 Jul 2004|04:21am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Everytime- Britney Spears ]

Yesterday we ate at the olive garden and out waiter was super nice. So I asked for an application. I figured I might as well just fill them out because I really need to get away from McDonalds. So he got me an application and had me fill it out. It was funny though the waiter [Kurt] was like "Yeah Ill put in a good word for you and everything!" Like I didnt know this guy, but he wrote his name on the application and he told his manager that we are really good friends..Haha. Hes 22 I think. I thought it was funny he did that. anyways he told me if they dont call me in a few weeks I should call them. He told me its fun to work there and theres a lot of people our age. He used to work at mcdonalds too so he knows how it is. I just really hate it there. I hope they call me back, if not Ill just keep applying different places.

Nothing on Jack I guess. He has been working like crazy so I havent been able to hang out with him since we met...I hate that. I just wish I could have a relstionship with a boy for once in my life. But Ill stop worrying about that for now.

Erika came over today and we went swimming. I didnt think I got a lot of sun but I did, Im red and have ugly tanlines. Yay atleast Im not a ghost anymore. We are going to the beach wednesday I think, I just hope I dont work.

I asked erika why we couldnt go to the beach next friday instead of a wednesday and then I reazlied WOW warped tour is next friday and its only 9 days away. How crazy, I can not wait. Espically to see Taking Back Sunday. I love them so much. <3 The stupid lady never called me about my warped tickets oh well, ill just keep my ticket until she does..

Wow I just downloaded Britney Spears 'Everytime' I love this song for some random reason though I never really minded her.. It makes me sad tho =[ .

1 It's not a lie if you believe it

Please excuse our dust ;] [11 Jul 2004|09:29pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Wow, blue. Caleida got messed up and my custom colors didnt work. So I changed the background and decided to go away from the yellow.So I changed the flower and journal to blue. Maybe one day when the colors get fixed I can change it back to all dark like I had it but Im not sure. This blue isn't so bad, plus I always have a black background. I tend to always change my journal around when I am bored so let's see how long this lasts. <3 Tell me if you like this whole blue thing at all. ;p

4 It's not a lie if you believe it

my past few days; hopefully you will read ;p [07 Jul 2004|01:38am]
[ mood | sympathetic ]
[ music | Follow the Format- Taking Back Sunday ]

Eh I have lost track of my days but Ill update a little post on the past few days:

Thursday [july 1st]
Today I went shopping with my mom and when I got home Jack asked me if I'd like to see spiderman 2. I never met Jack before tonight but we have been talking and what not. Well by the time he came over, and talked to my mom and we got to the movie theatre it was closed. So we coudlnt really think of anything else to do, we were going to try bowling but that was closed and his friends weren't doing anything either. We went to this park and to make a story short he kissed me. I ended up getting 40 mosquito bites as well, which sucked ;[. Jacks a nice guy and I hope he thinks the same about me. It's kind of hard for me to tell what he thinks. I think Im just paranoid, like usual. I jsut dont want to be used and I really want to have someone for once. I know I shouldnt really think about that, since it hasnt even been a week since we hung out. I really hope that we will hang out again. Everyone tells me I shouldnt kiss people when they first meet me but I dono.. Either way I had a lot of fun with him tonight, being with him in general was fun. =] I mean, sure ive had shitty luck with guys but maybe that will change. I can only hope. I dont think he will dick me over like the other guys, but if he does I seriously am giving up. But he did say he wants to see me again, I think his schedule and mine just dont work haha.

Friday [july 2nd]
Tonight was the fireworks in Independence. It was fun I got to hang with my friends etc.

Saturday [july 3rd]
Today was Laurens 17th bday party. It was a lot of fun. We sat around the fire and then set off some fireworks which were mainly smoke bombs. Then we ran out so we decided to go to Tops and get more, only we all decided to be idiots and ride in one car, which was laurens pick up truck. Yah some kids laid in the back which was totally illegal and totally unsafe but thats what they wanted. I was in an actual seat. Ive never seen so many cops in my life then I did last night and lauren was so scared she'd get pulled over. We got them, went back and lit them off and then everyone ended up leaving. Laurens girlfriend [katie] was telling me about her hippie mom. She said that she went to this hippie thing and this guy said his name was gravy and he was there to make biscuits happy. Hahah.

Sunday [july 4th]
Well my brother and his girlfriend came home today. We ate and my aunt and cousin came over. Later that night Erika came over and we all went downtown. It was funny we had mom driving, me, erika,laura,my sister,my brother, frank,his date,justin and his date all in my moms van. Good times. The fireworks were good. The finale was crazy. Thats about it. Happy Birthday to my grandma =]

monday [july 5th]
Today I slept until like 2 pm and then I went to the wake. I talked to ambers mom and I feel really bad. I cant even imagine how much that hurts. I wanted to cry so much. Her mom is so nice and one of the sweetest moms I know. Im really glad I became friends with Amber this year. I ended up being there until like 430. ;[ . I just hope everything works out for them. I had to work then, from 5-9 which wasnt that bad.

Tuesday [july 6th]
I wanted to go swimming today but by the time I woke up the pool was about to be closed for dinner break. Amber called me and told me Danielle wanted to go somewhere so I went with them. We went to this coffee shop. Me,amber,danielle, stephanie and billy went. Then billy left, and we went to giant eagle to see this guy who danielle likes but he wasnt there. It was funny I usually stick my hand out of the window in the car and keep it on the roof well danielle didnt know it was out there and i screamed OMG MY ARM when she rolled it up in there. She then got out of the car and im like d your window is not up and shes like wtf i rolled it up. She didnt even know she got my arm, she thought I was screaming about the Taking Back Sunday cd amber found. After that we went to ambers house and played with sparklers. I was setting boxes and plastic on fire until I almost caught my hand on fire. Then we decided to order pizza. Ambers mom said we were nuts because they had so much food but we wanted pizza. We got the pizza and I played wtih her dogs. Her dog gizmo rocks. I love him. you pick him up and he totally rolls over in your arms like he has no spine. so cute. so today was pretty random. It was also my cousins bday happy 19th bday matt!!

Oh I got a new cellphone too. I love it! Its verizon and well its the same phone number. I dont really know why I have a cellphone because I never get calls on it, or have anyone to call but either way, it rock. well thats about it for my hugeee update.

5 It's not a lie if you believe it

to my wonderful grandma [04 Jul 2004|02:25am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | View from Heaven- Yellowcard ]

Happy Birthday Grandma. I love you. and I miss you soo much. People say it gets easier as time goes on but theres not one day that goes by where its easier. It's been 2 years...2 very long years...since you have been gone.Even though you may not be here you are always here in my heart. through everything thats been going on. I know you have been watching over us.Everytime I look at the stars, I think of you. I love you so much and miss you more everyday. <333

Grandma <3
R.I.P July 3, 2002
heres a song that reminds me of you.

View from heaven )

2 It's not a lie if you believe it

flower. [01 Jul 2004|04:29am]
[ mood | blank ]

Do you like the new colors and picture? I took that picture of that flower. its in my backyard but is orignally pink. i just played with it in paint shop pro.

give me your opinion please

9 It's not a lie if you believe it

dont waste your time.. [30 Jun 2004|05:01am]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | God Send Conspirator- Coheed and Cambria ]

This is stupid. I hate this journal. I never update because it seems like noone reads it anyways, and no this isnt a cry for comments. I dont know. Maybe my life is too boring to read about. Actually right now Im just annoyed.

I hate my job, I really do. Its not even hard its just I dont have fun when I work. I know most people dont but it seems more like a bother to them to schedule me. I barely talk to anyone there and maybe thats my fault, but maybe its theirs too. I have been there almost 4 years and am still making 5.75 I started at 5.50. I understand they will give me a raise if I close but did I say when I got hired that I was going to work close? No, they can't expect that from me. They want me to open my availbilty but why would I WANT to if it makes me unhappy to go there. I don't even know if anyone there likes me. I believe Kat was talking about me. Usually Im in back cash and well she was cleaning because the manager told her too and when I walked up by her and fred [the manager] i heard her saying "thats why sh-...-pause- they are always in back cash.." and i think its cuz i wasnt cleaning. Oh well. fuck it. Im usually the only one that does clean when I have nothing to do. I dont know what to do to make people there happy. I mean its fucking mcdonalds. I need to quit but I dont know. Theres nowhere else to work. Everyone hates their jobs,its nautral but i seriously have a problem going there.

Take for example I worked monday and I almost passed out so I sat down for 5 minutes and when I came back my manager didnt ask me if I was okay instead he told me to get the next order. WOW IM GLAD I WASNT DYING!. So 20 minutes later I told him i need to go home because I was going to pass out and hes like "okay in 20 minutes" as if we were busy. Maybe I shoudlve made myself pass out, maybe he needed to get scared and have to call an ambulence. God..I hate people I work with. It just seems that noone cares about anything but themselves. I have to work the next two days and Im dreading it because everyones freaking because we are getting checked by the "big people" or whatever and everyones been cleaning like crazy. I wish I could get sick right now so I dont have to go tomorrow. blah..

On another note, I havent been doing much besides being my lonely self. Still being single because I cant ever seem to find a guy. Oh well guys suck too.

Wonder when Ill get my ACT scores. Im kind of scared to get them. Im scared of what Ill get. I hope I did okay, I really do not want to take those again. I should be getting them soon. -prays-. If I did bad I think Im just going to be a bum forever.

I hate how stupid people are about warped tour. Like I still dont have my ticket yet because Im waiting for it to be sent. I dont know who is going to buy my ticket because by the time I can sell it everyone will have theirs. Everyone is so confusing, I just wish that everyone would chill out and wait. I am not the concert god. I know someone is going to get pissed off at someone at warped just because theres like 11 of us going and we arent all going to agree. Knowing me, Ill probably go off at one of my friends and then feel bad about it later. Who knows. its like 22 days away. I cant wait tho.it will be a blast....;]

If my computer freezes one more time im going to scream. it freezes like 939 billion times a day!

Gosh, I worry to much, I complain to much. But i needed to get this all off my chest. I love how its 5:19 am and Im still not tired. Maybe I have problems.

I love coheed and cambria. <3 goodnight

5 It's not a lie if you believe it

navigation
[ viewing | 20 most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]